


A week with you.

by MusicalMassasinsXxx



Series: A Court of Nesta and Cassian [1]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: :), Angst, Confessions, Cuddles, Dates, F/M, Find out about Cassian's past, Fluff, Kisses, Love, Love Story, Mates, Mentions of Smut, Please Leave Comments, Sarcasm, Secrets, Sister love, Sisters, after the war, bad at writing tags, classic Nessian, crying on each other's shoulders, elain and Azriel, emotional Cassian, i wasn't joking when I said I couldn't write tags, nesta and Elain, please leave kudos, post ACOWAR, thanks for reading, there are a few arguments, thrive on a comments, witty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2018-12-25 02:45:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12026466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicalMassasinsXxx/pseuds/MusicalMassasinsXxx
Summary: Nesta and Cassian spend a week together in Velaris. Most of the inner circle are on holiday leaving Nesta and Cassian to talk about all that has happened and all that is to come :)





	1. Friday

**Author's Note:**

> Cassian hears something he doesn't expect...

She was singing. And dancing. Nesta Archeon was singing in the small kitchen of the quaint house, Elain and Nesta had bought a few months after the war. With Nesta's salary as the night court emissary, she could afford the home, and had started to make it her own. Since the house wasn't frequented by the inner circle Nesta felt she could really express herself. That was until he showed up.

She hadn't realised that he was stood in the doorway until the end of the song when she spun around and found him staring at her, her voice faltering on the final note, leaving the melody incomplete. The song was a gentle melody. Nesta swayed her hips and moved her feet in time with her voice. Completley lost in the words, humming during the intervals. 

Since Nesta was so locked inside her brain all day every day she found she could become herself, with music. She found her feet moving towards Rita's when she went for walks if only to steal the music for a moment, and soak it in.

And Cassian was enthralled. He didn't mean to be there, in all honesty he was looking for Elain, Feyre had needed some advice on some clothes to take on her honeymoon. Feyre pulled the high lady card and sent Cassian to do her bidding. He was Upset at first of having to leave the comfort of the big arm chair, but seeing Nesta so free was worth all the comfy chairs in the world. 

It was when she turned around. Nesta's eyes locked onto his, something like shame and embarrassment crawled into her cheeks. Not knowing what to do she picked up the washcloth and threw it as his face. Too enthralled to realise the slightly tamp tea towel whacked him in the face. 

"Get out!" She bellowed, instantly ashamed, as if someone had seen her most intimate thoughts.

"But- but-" He stammered

"I said! Get. Out. Of. My. House!" 

Respecting her wishes, he went for the door, Nesta followed and shut the door behind him. When she knew he was gone, Nesta slid her back down the closed door, she don't know why but she started crying. Something about, something so intimate shared with someone else made her emotional.

Meanwhile Cassian was flying for the townhouse, needing to tell Rhys what he had seen.

***

"... and she was singing."

"Wait! She was singing?"

"You should have heard it."

"Is she good?"

At that Cassian didn't know what to say. Nesta was beyond amazing. 

"She sounded like what you expect a goddess to sound like."

"Oh Cass you got it bad." Rhys stated, sinking back into his chair. The two boys were waiting for Feyre to finish packing so the High lord and Lady could enjoy a small honeymoon, visiting Miryam and Drakon.

"What are you talking about?" Cassian asked.

"I'm talking about you, hung up on Nesta. You're obviously in love with her!"

"I am not in love with her!" He practically shouted,

"Oh you most definitely are," Feyre said, stalking down the stairs, "and for what it's worth, she loves you too."

"Really?!" He sounded so excited, regaining his composure, "how can you tell?"

Feyre simply tapped the side of her nose and said, "Archeon sister bond." And stuck her tongue out to Cassian. The man-child slumped back into his chair, a small blush gracing his cheeks. Could it be true? Could Nesta really love him? 

He thought back to the war with Hybern, how she had laid ontop of him, how his arms had encircled her waist, how he had kissed her, how she didn't pull away, how in the moment he wouldn't of cared if he died, because Nesta would have followed him to the after life and they would have that time, that promise time.

5 months later and nothing had come from the time spent together. Every time they breached the subject some one found their way into the room. Cassian hoped that in the upcoming week with Amren in the summer court, Mor visiting Viviane and Kallias in winter, Feyre and Rhys' honeymoon and Elain and Azriel's "secret" rendezvous, perhaps him and Nesta would finally be able to talk.


	2. Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta and Cassian have dinner with Elain and Azriel

Feyre and Rhys had just left for their honeymoon. Cassian had finished his training and couldn't think of anything else to do. It was quiet without everyone here. Since everyone who actually lived in the town house, was away, Feyre insisted that no one use her home, but Rhys had slipped Cassian a wink. Cassian found himself shortly after they left cuddled into "his" big chair with a book he had "accidentally" spied on Nesta's book shelf. He opened his next page to receive a not from Rhys.

*I know that I said it's okay to use the townhouse, but I honestly thought you'd wait at least a day* 

Cassian picked up a pen and wrote back *shouldn't you be doing more important stuff on your honeymoon* he sent it, you could definitely hear the smirk in his voice.

Rhys replied *Gods I want to but Miryam is showing us around, plus you're bored so I thought I could talk to you.*

Cassian smiled to himself. Sometimes he could feel slightly rejected since Feyre showed up. He loves Feyre and is so grateful that she's his high lady, but he can't help but feel that sometimes Rhys will take Feyre's side of the argument or he'll spend time with her, which he has every right to do, just if Cassian thinks about it too much, he feels low.

*I'm her for you bro* he wrote back *after you did leave me with a sulking Nesta and a mischievous gleamed eyed Azriel and Elain*

*Sorry about that, but I guess now you have the chance to talk to the famous Nesta Archeon.*

*That's exactly what I plan on doing.*

***

Nesta was curled up on her sofa, a knitted blanket draped over her legs and a large yellow mug of tea residing on the table next to her. Since yesterday Nesta had not sang, she felt oddly uncomfortable about it, like someone was constantly watching her.

Elain flirted through the door, she's probably just been "training" with Azriel. A massive smile was gracing her lips, that fell the moment she saw Nesta staring at her.

"Oh. I didn't think you'd be here." Elain stammered as a way of greeting.

"Well I love here, don't I?" She declared, a sign of a joke threaded into her words.

"Of course, but I just thought you would have gone out." Elain stood there awkwardly, she smoothed out her skirts and then as if a light flashed she looked up and said, "oh I almost forgot, we're having dinner tonight at the house of wind, tonight."

"We?"

"Yeah, Me, Az and Cassian," then remembering, "and you of course, if you grace us with your presence."

Nesta had rolled her eyes when she'd heard Cassian's name.

"I'll think about it."

***

"We?"

"Yeah, Me, Elain and Nesta. Oh and you, if you grace us with your presence." 

"I'll think about it." Cassian told the shadowsinger.

***  
It was mid afternoon now, Nesta had fallen asleep in her reading position and woke up feeling rather hungry. Her appetite was something she had to get used to, she normally didn't have the desire to eat, mostly because she knew she would never be able to keep it down when her nightmares started, but her bad thoughts were visiting her less and less, and Nesta could actually stomach the idea of food.

She stood in the kitchen making herself some kind of pasta concoction with vegetables that were grown in their garden, by Elain. Even when Nesta was younger she liked to watch the servants cook, how their sharp knives cut the vegetables so finely.

Nesta found herself thinking about a different kind of knife as she cut up some peppers. The knife- sword, that was dug into a man's neck, that she gladly twisted, severing his head from his body. And she had held it. 

She had quickly tossed it away but the memories of it had haunted her since. 

She tried to shake it off, so she could get back to cooking, and she started to hum a tune. The melody Nesta had chosen was one sung to her as a little girl, it was a sad song about losing love but the minor key went with how she was feeling, so she went with it. Singing made Nesta's heart feel whole again and she had gained enough composure to start chopping again. So she stood in the kitchen, humming away, when a note flittered onto the counter.

*Im sorry about yesterday,* it read, *but please tell me you'll definitely be there at dinner tonight, I can't survive an evening alone, watching Elain and Azriel, make doe eyes at each other.*

At that Nesta wanted to laugh, but- *of course, I will be at dinner, not even I could leave you to such a monstrosity.* she sent a flicker of amusement, hoping she wasn't going to come across to harsh.

She received a note almost instantly, *great, I'll pick you up at 8.* Nesta could hear the smirk in his voice and just as she was about to respond, Cassian got there before her, another note floated down- *literally.* the note read.

***

Azriel had just shown up to fly Elain. From her room Nesta could hear the sound of distant chatter coming from the two and then she heard them fly off. 

Nesta had dressed herself in a purple gown with blue-so-dark-it-looked-black embellishments around the waist. She didn't bother with Jewellery of a fancy hairstyle, she merely wore it down and loosely curled. She was smoothing down her dress when she hear a knock at the door.

Once she had walked down the stairs and opened the door, by way of greeting she said, "I'm actually surprised you know how to knock."

But Cassian was dumfounded by how beautiful she looked, so simple yet so damned gorgeous. The swirling embellishments on her dress closely resembled the ones that danced in tattoos upon Cassian's chest. 

"I'm terribly sorry about yesterday," he said, nothing but apology in his eyes, Nesta knew that she'd forgive him just- "I know it was wrong of me to stand there, you're just-" he couldn't find the word, "mesmerising."

He offered his arm and she took it, they walked out of her house into the quiet street, closing the door with a click, behind them. 

Cassian picked Nesta up, holding her close against his chest trying not to mess up her curls, or press his nose into the crook of her neck to scent her. He just flyed trying not to focus on her.

*** 

They arrived at the house of wind. Nesta ruffled with her hair, hoping it wasn't too windswept while Cassian watched secretly. Nesta loved flying, that's another secret she would never tell, but she loved it. She loves how the wind feels and how her heart sinks into we chest- and the way he holds her so tightly. There's something intimate in it. It's like their hearts beat in time and there's only them two in the world. 

Cassian opened the door and their evening began.

***

It had been mostly awful. 

It had been Elain flirting with Azriel and giggling like anything, Azriel trying not to blush infront of his brother. And Nesta keeping to her thoughts, holding her wine glass with two hands and sipping it constantly. 

It felt as if Nesta and Cassian were interrupting a date so it felt really awkward. Nesta was growing to dislike her sister so she offered to clear up. She piled the plates and tried to find some kind of kitchen, to wash up. When she found it she heaved a sigh and got to work.

A few minutes later she felt rather than heard Cassian. She turreted around only to find him opening the door.

"I'm sorry I just couldn't handle being with them anymore." He sounded like he was out of breath, like he had run down the corridor.

"They are pretty awful," she confirmed, "I wonder what got into them? They were never like this. Plus Elain is supposed to be with that Autumn- day court male." Nesta was very frustrated, you could see it in her eyes.

"I honestly don't know what came over them," Cassian had now moved to the small table in the middle of the kitchen, whilst Nesta was just finishing drying, "I think since the war, Elain has needed someone strong but soft and that's what Azriel is. But Azriel is just as infatuated with her as she is him. I think the war brought out qualities the other had never seen, Elain saw a gentle Azriel instead of an Illyrian Warrior, she saw him healing, he gave her his dagger, which I have never seen him do before, that dagger is his lifeline and I'm still amazed he trusted her with it." He scooted his chair in a little bit more now that Nesta had joined him at the table, and she said,

"And Azriel saw the brutal side of Elain, I have no doubt his shadows were close by when she- when she-," Cassian simply nodded understanding what she was saying, "he saw that fierce kind of love, the love that you would die for, he saw a high fae, not a little girl fight for what's right, and risk her life in the process." 

Cassian looked at Nesta, truly looked at her, he could see that some of what she had said had been true for her- for them. There was something between them, but he wouldn't force it, wouldn't dare, because It would be her choice, it would always be her choice, if it were up to him, they'd be kissing by now and he would've lifted her on the kitchen counter, her hands would be in his hair and his would be travelling up and down her body, loving every curve and every scar there was. Instead he said-

"As far as mates go," Nesta's head snapped up, " she has a choice," they were looking into each other's eyes, "she always has a choice, if she truly loves Lucien then it is wise to accept. But she shouldn't choose to accept just because it's some stupid ancient fae thing." He was looking deeply into her blue-grey eyes, "some couples are lucky, but most feel pressured. She has a choice. She always has a choice." 

Nesta stared back, slightly knowing that Cassian wasn't just talking about Elain anymore, but- it was all too soon- and she was- she was-

Reading the panic in her eyes he said, "by the way, you're an amazing singer." 

Nesta scoffed at his declaration,

"I'm serious," he promised, "there have been very few things that I would say I was amazed by."

Nesta just shook her head, "you don't mean that." She said, a rose graced her cheeks 

"I really do, in fact I was kind of wondering," he paused, Nesta had never seen the Commander's hand so clammy, "I was wondering if tomorrow you wanted to see a play with me."

Nesta couldn't believe the question, of course she wanted to go, she'd always wanted to go, the closest she'd ever got to music as a human was listening to beggars sing for money and the servants when she was very young.

"Of course! I'd love to go to the theatre with you." She was happy, she didn't try to hide the smile on her lips and she was beautiful.

"Great, I'll pick you up tomorrow night and we'll walk to the theatre."

Nesta nodded, very excited that she was going to see a real play. She felt playful now,

"I bet if we were to leave, they wouldn't notice that we'd gone."

"How much?"

"20 gold marks."

"I bet you 30 that in the morning they won't even ask where we went."

"You've got yourself a deal Commander." She held out her hand for him to shake,

"Pleasure doing business with you Emissary."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited about writing the rest of this, remember to comment because i like attention :p happy reading Xx


	3. Sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta and Cassian go to the theatre.

Nesta stood in the kitchen once again making bacon and eggs for breakfast, humming lightly, the excitement of tonight baring on her. She'd never been to a theatre, she'd read about them and even dreamt about them. She could not wait. 

Elain stumbled into the kitchen, somehow her morning bed hair still managed to frame her face perfectly, she always looked gentle and soft, her pink lace nightgown hung off her, the slight figure that she was developing due to eating regularly was appearing and Nesta knew that her already gorgeous sister was just going to become more so.

Nesta was right, Elain and Azriel hadn't realised that her and Cassian had left last night, but Elain had asked where she had been, which meant that she won the bet! She was gleefully looking forward to telling Cassian he was wrong.

"What are you doing tonight?" Elain asked softly, her morning groggy voice coming through,

"Why?" Her sister asked warily,

"I'm gonna go to the orphanage, Azriel is training a girl who said they needed more help there, I was wondering if you wanted to come."

"I'm sorry but I can't." She tried to say casually, hoping that Elain wouldn't intrude further, cauldron only knew what the rest of the inner circle would say if they new Nesta and Cassian were going out tonight- even if it was only as friends. 

"Oh what are you doing?" Elain asked curiously whilst pouring a cup of coffee,

"I'm just... going out," Nesta said quietly stretching out her words, "with.... Cassian."

Elain head snapped up to find her sister with an embarrassed look on her face, her lips scrunched and her eyebrows raised.

"You mean... on a date?" She enquired.

"No- no... not at all." She was being overly re assuring. "No. We're just going to the theatre."

"Sounds like a date to me." Elain sang.

"It's not a date!" Nesta said, even though a small smile was gracing her lips.

"Whatever you say." Elain said melodically as she danced out the kitchen with a plate of food.

Nesta was left alone in the kitchen smiling, it wasn't a date, but maybe she wanted it to be.

***

Cassian was stood in front of his armoire, trying to decide if he would wear black or navy. Black was traditional, that's what people wore but- navy was dashing, daring and he had a killer navy and white striped bow tie that'd go great with it. Navy it is then. 

He dressed in his suit and even brushed his hair and ruffled it, so that ruggish side of him showed. The one he knew Nesta loved. 

He looked at himself once over and let out a sigh. Everything was going to be fine. It wasn't even a real date anyway.

***

Nesta didn't know much about luxurious living but she knew she would have to dress up for the theatre. She chose a form fitting navy dress that flowed out at her hips. It had a sheer illusion neckline that extended to her sleeves. She pinned half of her curled hair up and pinned some yellow flowers in. Maybe she was over doing it a little bit, she enjoyed looking nice. 

Elain floated past her room, and seeing Nesta struggle with pinning the flowers in her hair, walked up behind her to help.

"I thought you said it wasn't a date." Elain said,

"And I thought you said you were going to the orphanage." Nesta sighed.

"I'm about to leave dear sister, don't worry."

Nesta heaved a sigh.

***

When she opened the door to find him in that suit she had been breathless, there was something about him, there was always something about him that made her heart dance a little faster. 

Cassian stared at this beautiful woman, admiring how gentle her face looked with the flowers but could still see the strength and power that lurked beneath her skin. She was strong and confident and stunning gorgeous. Given they were both in Navy, it looked like they had chosen to match on purpose. 

"Nesta you look-" he couldn't find the words, he could never find the words,

"You don't look half bad yourself" she said breathlessly.

Elain had already left so Nesta was grateful that the nightcourt Seer wasn't there to taunt her sister.

Cassian offerened his arm, "shall we?"

Nesta's answer was the click of the door and her taking his arm. They walked side by side in silence most of the way, the spoke quietly about a few things but nothing too deep. Yet. 

***  
They arrived at the theatre, Cassian, ever the gentleman, paid for Nesta, after much retaliation from the Emissary, but he won her by saying he owed her for the bet they had made.

They strolled through the doors and Nesta was in awe at the sight she saw. She could see rows and rows of plush red velvet chairs. The stage was illuminated with faelight and candles. She could hear the orchestra warming up, it strung a chord deep within her, she didn't realise how emotional she would be. But Cassian- Cassian was here and she shouldn't- would not let her tears show, especially about something so silly as the the ornate carving that travelled up the walls and met in the middle of the ceiling, where the crystal chandelier hanged, the crystals looking like raindrops, free falling. It was beautiful.

Cassian saw the awe written across her face and could feel her excitement in his heart- his soul. It was strange. Nesta was so captivated she hadn't realised Cassian was staring at her, until he let out a little cough. 

"Shall we?" He said, complete gentleness.

Nesta only nodded, worried that if she opened her mouth then her body would let out a sob.

***

The play was magnificent. Nesta held back her tears, but then there was a massive number. Dancers, singers, the orchestra below the stage was erupting with passion and Nesta couldn't keep it in any longer. She didn't care that there were hundreds of other people in the theatre, she didn't care that she was notoriously famous for killing the king of Hybern, she didn't care about reputation, if she wanted to cry, she was going to do it. 

As soon as the first tear slid down her face, Cassian's hand was on hers, his eyes were still fixed on the stage but he had known- had sensed, and knew that she needed that little bit of comfort. They had held hands for the rest of the performance and when the lights went up they retracted their hands, pretending like nothing had happened.

*** 

"I take it you, enjoyed it then?" Cassian asked when they were walking out the theatre.

Nesta looked over to him, her tear stained face showing, her mascara had dropped to her cheeks. Cassian held out a handkerchief and when she hadn't wiped all of the mascara off her face, Cassian took the piece of cloth and wiped what was left, after he had been fussing for a while, Nesta whacked his hand away.

"Hungry?" He asked. 

"Starved."

"Good I know a good place."

***

"Meat on a stick?"

"Yeah!"

"Meat?" She paused, "on a stick."

"Yeah it's great."

"It sounds awfully- animalistic."

"You won't love it till you try it."

He handed her, her "meat on a stick."

One bite and she didn't want to admit how good it was. Cassian laughed under his breath.

"Shut up, it's really good!"

"I told you so, Emissary."

Nesta finished it within a few bites. Satisfied. Even the street food in Velaris was good. 

"I should really be getting home," Nesta said, "thank you for such a pleasant evening."

"It was my pleasure, especially seeing you cry." At that she pushed him and he stumbled back a step. "Train with me and perhaps you'll get me on my knees." He said with a smirk on his face. 

She just rolled her eyes. And a daring idea popped into her head. She reached for his hand, pulled him closer and stood on her tip toes and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow, Commander." 

Cassian was left speechless. He watched Nesta walk away, and saw her turn around to check he was still in awe, she simply smiled and turned around and carried on walking home. 

That woman would be the death of him. 

***

Cassian stood in his home. He unchanged and was about to get into bed. Would there be a day when him and Nesta would walk home together. Where they wouldn't have to part and they'd giggle the whole way home. They'd get home, to their home and would spend the night in each other's arms. It was all just a fantasy, a dream. He was reaching further than he could grasp. It would never- 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

Cassian groaned. Who could possibly be at his door at this hour? 

***

"It's possible that I locked myself out of the house and Elain is spending the night at the orphanage."

"So the mighty Nesta Archeon has admitted defeat and wishes to spend a night at the Great Commander's house."

"Oh shut up. I'm tired, just please let me crash on your sofa." He's never seen her like this- tired. She had always been so sharp.

"Take the bed, I'll sleep on the floor." He said, letting her walk through the door.

Something like shock crossed her, "are you sure?" 

He shut the door behind her, "Why wouldn't I be?" 

"Thank you." She said gently, no jokes, no sly comments, just genuine gratitude.

"Let me get you something for you to wear."

He emerged moments later with a large shirt and some trousers, "they might be a little big." He said unsure.

"I'll make do."

Nesta emerged from Cassian's room after changing, and went into the living room. He was lounging in his sofa drinking some concoction of a sort. She was only in Cassian's shirt, it came down to her knees. He had made her a hot chocolate that was sitting on the table, she picked it up with both hands absorbing the heat of it. 

"Thank you."

"Stop saying that. Any civilised person would do it."

"Exactly. I'm surprised. Since you aren't a civilised person." She said with a smile, "I should be getting to bed."

"Goodnight, Sweetheart." He smirked.

"And here I was thinking that you'd changed." She laughed as she walked away, still clutching the large mug. 

Cassian just watched her walk away. Smiling at her. Seeing her in his clothes had unlocked something protective in him. He would probably love her till he died. 

His mate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am actually loving writing this so much. It's so much fun. I'm so excited for things that are about to happen.


	4. Monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is slightly more angsty, it gets better though.

Nesta had a nightmare. Although it didn't belong to her. She thinks it belonged to Cassian, because she felt his fears. She saw the war and Hybern. She saw herself die. She heard Cassian scream and cry out for her. But it wasn't her dream, weren't her feelings. For some reason she had been inside Cassian's head. She didn't know why.

When she had jolted awake to an unfamiliar room, the scent of Cassian wrapped around her and she snuggled into the duvet, surrounding herself with him.

She didn't have time to appreciate his room last night, she had been so tired. But it was so- him.

Cassian's walls were painted a light blue, but the furniture was dark. He had a large mirror but had pinned to do lists all around it, things that Feyre and Rhys had asked of him, grocery lists and people he had to train. It was like, even though the large mirror represented vanity the post it notes surrounding it, blocked it out, and how he'd always put others before him self. She smiled at the three little plant pots along the window sill, each one with a piece of paper under it, that read- "Rhys" , "Azriel" and "Cassian". She loved it. She looked one last time before she left, the smell of bacon beckoning her.

***

There were no words to describe how Cassian felt when he not only saw Nesta in his clothes, but could also smell himself on her. Everyone in Velaris would know where she had been, and everyone would think that she belonged to him, and he belonged to her. The thought made his heart race. But he kept a calm neutral face as he offered her a cup of tea. 

"How'd you sleep?" 

"Really well, actually, considering I was in some one else's bed," she paused, "I did have a nightmare though."

"Oh my days, Nesta, are you okay?" Concern laced in his voice.

"I think the question is, are you okay? It wasn't my dream- it was yours."

"Wait! You saw my nightmare?!" He wasn't angry, just shocked.

"Well I think so, it was during the war and I-"

"Died." Cold. Flat.

"Yeah." There was no happiness in their voices.

Confusion. Sadness. They were both feeling vulnerable. They sat in silence drinking their tea. 

"There's one place I always go, when I have a nightmare."

"Where?" She asked.

***

They were still in their pyjamas, however Nesta had slid on some shoes but was only in Cassian t shirt. Cassian was wearing loose, chequered jogging bottoms with a grey t shirt and a thick wool cardigan.

He had taken her to a cliff edge. It was windy and Nesta shivered. Cassian graciously offered his jumper to her.

"Why do you come here?" Her voice barely over powering the wind. It was winter soon and there was a chill in the air.

But instead of an answer Nesta only looked up to see Cassian crying. 

In between sobs he said. "I've done- many bad things- in my life."

He didn't want to be crying. It had just slipped out.

"Azriel found me on the edge of this cliff one day." What he said next shook Nesta to the core, " I was going to jump- and not use my wings." 

Nesta wasn't breathing, she couldn't imagine a world without Cassian. Nor could she imagine a world in which Cassian wasn't upbeat, wasn't sharp. A world where Cassian... would want to end it.

"Azriel stopped me. He stood behind me with tears in his eyes, telling me not to do it," he was sobbing now, and Nesta didn't know how to comfort him, "I come here because it reminds me of my family. I'd never seen Azriel cry. This place just reminds me of them, why I decided to still be alive. It eases my nightmares."

Nesta walked towards him. She couldn't give him much but she gave him a little piece of her. She circled her arms around his waist, she looked up at his tear speckled face. 

"Can I show you where I go?" 

He nodded in response, and grabbed her hand ready to winnow but-

"Can we fly there instead?"

***

They landed on the bridge of Velaris. Nesta walked to railings, the one that was near to a lamp that at night was illuminated by faelight. Cassian had never seen Nesta do anything physical, except for killing the king of Hybern but he would call that instinct- not training. But she placed both hands on the railing and swung her legs over so she was perched ontop of the black iron, her right hand, clung to the lamp post and her feet dangling over the flowing water. Cassian walked over and simply placed his hands on the railing next to her. Not having the courage to sit on the railing with her. 

"I like this spot because it's beautiful, no mater what time of the day you come," she let out a small sigh, "I'm mostly here at night. Elain doesn't know I sneak out, or if she does, she doesn't care." A smile passes her lips as if she remember something, "I like the way the stars reflect on the water, it makes the water looks like it's alive, I like how the water I saw yesterday is no longer here but flowing somewhere else, somewhere greater, yet the stars will shine on it, because it's still water, it will always splash if you throw a pebble in it. Because it's water, no matter if it wasn't here yesterday and it won't be here tomorrow." She stopped then said, "I am still Nesta. No matter how harsh things get, the stars will still shine on me, if I get hurt, I will get dented but I will still keep flowing, to greater things. My nightmares are just another splash in the water, it slows things down but it doesn't- it doesn't mean it will stop me completely."

Cassian was looking at her with something like awe. He did not deserve this woman. Her "speech" was liberating, he just wanted to hug her. He moved one of his hands so it touched hers.

"I want to tell you what I did."

Nesta knew what he meant, "you don't have to Cassian."

"But I want to, it's the worst thing I've done and I want you to know me. Even the broken parts."

"If you want, I'm not going to pressure you."

Cassian turned around so his hips were lent against the railing, he still had a perfect view of Nesta's face. He opened his hands like he was reading it from a story book. "I slept with another male's wife- his mate. Her name was Lily." He kept stopping in between sentences, "Now Lily had a history. She was a criminal and when she mated, everyone thought she had changed. Her mate had left to fight in a battle on the continent and she was alone and I- I- well let's just say I 'comforted' her," another pause, processing, calculating his next words, "Her mate was livid when he came back, I had a constant target on my back, until one night he showed up in my room. It was about two months after I stopped seeing his wife. I didn't know it was him, I guessed, but it could've been a common thief." Cassian was crying, trying to hold it back, "I reached for my dagger and stabbed him. After I realised what I'd done, I laid him on my bed and he died that night. I had to tell Lily. But when I got to her house, there were other people in there, I could see them through the window. They were not of the night court, but I recognised their coat of arms they wore, was something from the continent. I rushed to Azriel, and he sent his shadows to spy, we spied on them for a week. They were planning a surprise attack. Az and I burst in and killed them all on sight, except from Lily. I took her to the prison."

"You were just doing your duty, Cass. You did nothing wrong."

"No!" He was blunt, "what I didn't know was Lily was pregnant, I don't know how many months along she was. She died in that Prison and so did the child."

Cassian was sobbing and Nesta twisted and jumped off the railing and pulled Cassian down to her. To cover his crying face, they shouldn't have done this here, luckily there weren't many people out during the day, and it was still quite early in the morning. but still, even the wind had ears. 

"Shh, Cassian." 

"It could have been my child, Nesta."

"Shh you don't know that." Her voice was soothing and calming 

"I killed a whole family, one that I claimed to Love too, Lily was a good person who got caught in a bad crowd her mate was a wonderful, valiant soldier and the child-" one breath. Two. Three, "the child, for all I know could have been mine. I didn't give that child a chance, they never saw anything but the darkness of those prison walls."

"Hey- hey- hey," she was whispering into his ear now, that was sending shivers down her spine, "you are strong, you are confident, you are the commander of the night court."

She was sending soothing strokes down his back. "Let's go home, have some Choco and we can talk some more, okay." 

"Okay." He said through his muffled cries.

***

Nesta finally changed into her clothes, although she kept Cassian's jumper, it felt far too comfy for her to get rid of it.

They sat on opposite ends of the two seater sofa leaning against the arms, both of their legs propped up. She opened her mouth to talk but-

"Can we talk about something else, nes?" He looked nervous for some reason.

"Sure, anything."

"First of all I just want to say sorry for being a blubbering mess I don't know what came over me, I guess I just feel safe with you."

"I get it. I feel safe with you too."

There arms were both resting on the back of the sofa and their hands and fingers were starting to intertwine, 

"Look Nes, I've wanted to talk to you-"

"I'm Back!!" Elain sang as she walked through the door. Nesta and Cassian pulled apart before Elain could see and Nesta threw the blanket that was draped over both of their legs across the room. She didn't want Elain to have any motive to suggest anything.

"Oh I'm sorry, am I interrupting?" Elain chirped.

"No, not at all," Cassian cut in, "I was just about to leave." He stood up, placing his mug on the table. Nesta stood up too and walked with him to the door. Elain was wise enough to not look, giving her sister some privacy. 

Cassian opened the door, and stepped out side, his composure was back, you never would have guessed that he was crying, then turned around. Nesta was leaning against the door frame, 

"You look good in my jumper." Cassian said with a huff of a laugh.

"Oh I'll give it back-"

"Keep it." He said with a smile.

"Thank you."

"No, thank you for today, well half of the day." 

"It's my pleasure, you've always been there for me."

They stood there smiling at each other for a while then Nesta said, 

"Um so, there's a dance class tomorrow at the theatre, I think it's ballroom. Would you be my partner?" She said hopefully.

"Of course I will be your partner."

"Good." She smiled

"Good, I'll see you tomorrow Nes." And with that he placed a small chaste kiss on her cheek. He walked away and Nesta closed the door. She couldn't get rid of the blush on her cheeks.

***

 

Cassian flew home in a strange mood. He was relieved that he had shared so many things with Nesta and that she was still there, she still cared for him after all he had done. But he promised to protect her. He promised to be her shoulder to cry on, and he felt like a burden, he shouldn't have just thrown everything at her. But yet he was happy, every day they were growing closer, and he would be forever greatful for Nesta Archeon. The female he loved.

***

When Nesta got in to bed that night she couldn't stop thinking that it wasn't Cassian's, it wasn't warm or inviting, it didn't smell like him, and she yearned to spell him, so she hugged herself and tried to soak in the scent that was left on his jumper. She was so happy that Cassian trusted her today. She was happy that she could finally let someone in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah sorry for all the emotions.


	5. Tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian and Nesta are just growing closer and closer. Very small angst, but also happy fluffy times too.

The morning was a bit dull, Nesta went for a walk around Velaris, she even crossed the bridge, she had no reason to go but to look at the water. She remembered what had happened there yesterday. She remembered Cassian pouring his heart out. What he had done should be unforgivable, especially to Nesta. If someone would have told her that story, just over a year ago, my goodness had it really been a year since she'd turned fae. If someone had told her what Cassian had done when she was a human she would've looked down at him, she would've have thought that he was a murderous Illyrian, whose bloodlust was too much for his own good. But- she didn't care. She didn't care what Cassian had done, she'd known how sorry he was. Had felt it in his heart. And all she wanted to do was remove that pain.

They were going dancing tonight, maybe she could help heal him. And maybe- just maybe he could heal her too.

*** 

When Cassian sparred with Azriel in the morning he was off- balance.

"Are you alright?" The shadow singer asked,

"Yeah, I'm fine." Cassian said through a huff of a breath. Azriel knew he was lying but asked instead,

"How's Nesta?" He asked suggestively, prolonging his words to tease Cassian even more.

"I don't know Azriel! How's Elain? You seem to be spending enough time with her!" Anger. That's what it was. It was the kind of anger that you replaced with sadness. And Azriel knew that.

"Elain is fine, if you must know."

Cassian was silent. He wasn't really angry at his friend,

"I'm sorry, I'm just feeling a little- vulnerable."

"Did something happen with Nesta?"

"Yeah." Cassian said with a smile, It wasn't what had caused him to feel on edge, in fact she had made it better,

"Oh, pray tell, brother." Azriel said, picking up his train of thoughts.

So Cassian told him. Most things. He didn't tell him about Nesta's secret nightmare spot. He didn't tell him how amazing Nesta looked in the morning with her hair slightly messed up. How good she looked and smelt with his clothes on. He didn't tell Azriel that she had kissed him on the cheek, or that he had done the same to her. 

But he told him of how Nesta had cared for him. How despite everything, she put him first,

"... and I'm completely messed up Az! God- I am in love with this beautiful, Stunning female who has the power that could rule the world prowling beneath her skin. She has a heart of fire that both attack and comforts. She might be perfect, Azriel. And I don't know what to do, because every time I am around her- I want to push her away. Because I don't deserve her. I think I secretly told her of what happened with Lily in hopes she would leave me, but she hugged me, she took my tears, she took my heart," he was breathing heavily now, "she took my jumper." He said finally with a laugh.

"Well brother," Azriel said patting him on the back, "I wish you all the happiness in the world. Go after her. Tell her that you are ma-"

"No, I can't!" He cut Azriel before he could say what he was about to, "if Nesta is going to love me, I don't want the bond to interfere." Cassian and Azriel were making there way to a the small table at the edge of the training room that held a bottle of their favourite drink and poured two glasses.

"You're beating yourself up, because you're in love with your mate," Azriel said raising the glass to his lips, "and I'm beating myself up, because I'm in love with another male's mate." He chucked his drink down his throat.

Cassian didn't think it would be a surprise, when Azriel confessed his love for Elain. But it was. He was so used to seeing his brother pine over Mor, that it was quite amazing to see a new side of him. Cassian filled Azriel's glass once more and raised his, 

"To the Archeon sisters." He chanted,

"To the Archeon sisters- and our high lady."

They clinked their glasses and swallowed their drinks.

***

Nesta met Cassian outside the theatre in the late afternoon. She was wearing a long sleeved figure hugging black tshirt with, skin tight leggings with a sheer purple skirt that started at her waist and flowed to her ankles, over the top, her hair was clad in a neat bun, but due to the walking, her hair had wisped out at the sides, framing her face. Cassian was wearing the trousers from his training gear and black top with a v neck.

They stood awkwardly next to each other inside the massive hall, mirrors lining one of the walls, the other lined with orbs of faelight. Cassian seemed distant and Nesta opened her mouth to speak when she did the dance instructor walked through the door.

"Helloo, my name is Maia. I will be your dance instructor this week and we will be focusing on- ballroom dancing." Cassian and Nesta shared a glance at each other then, Maia was very confident, and outgoing, they held in their smirks, " I want you to grab your partner, Males I want you to place your right hand on your female's waist and hold her right hand with your left hand. Females I want you to hold your males hand and with your left hand place it gently on their shoulder."

Cassian turned to Nesta, "may I?" Ever the gentleman,

Nesta only nodded and Cassian took her waist in his hand. They fell into their position well, they seemed to fit each other perfectly, like the Gods knew that they would be in this position,

"Now I want you to move closer to your partners." She walked round the class inspecting the couples and pushing them closer together, when she got to Nesta and Cassian it felt as if she had pushed them closer than any other pair in the room. Nonetheless they held onto each other, all evening.

*** 

After being talked through the basics and the technical names and hand position how to perform each move, the teacher sat at the piano and said, "I can teach you everything about dance but the key is feeling it in your heart," Nesta and Cassian were looking into each other's eyes, two hours spent in such close quarters, whispering things in each other's ear, getting told off for giggling, it was such a strange dynamic they had, but one that Nesta enjoyed, "you cannot simply dance technically, but you must dance soulfully, so as I play this last song, I want you to pour your hearts out, pretend no one is watching, guide each other through it, have fun, no one cares if you get it wrong."

The piano started and Nesta and Cassian fell into a beautiful rhythm, as if they knew what they other wanted, they stepped in time with music feeling the beat. Every so often Cassian would spin Nesta and her heart would be overwhelmed when Cassian pulled her back into him. His strong hand holding her. Keeping her safe. As the music got faster, their movement increased. Their feet moving impossibly in sync with each other, they were looking at each other smiling. The music was coming to a close but it wasn't going to finish without a bang. Cassian lifted Nesta as the crescendo hit and spun her around. When the music slowed he lowered her gently their eyes locked on to each other's. They were sharing the same air, heavy breathing, both overwhelmed by their powerful dance.

Cassian wanted her. He wanted her now. He wanted to kiss her, he wanted to hear her loose her breath at the shock of the kiss. He just wanted her in his arms- forever.

Their foreheads lent against each other still breathing heavily. Her hand moved to his cheek and Cassian stopped breathing, he knew what Nesta was going to do. And he wasn't prepared, but-

"That was excellent!!!" Maia erupted with applause and so did everyone else in the room, no one was looking at them, but it was a moment ruined. Again. "Class dismissed, I hope you will join me again in two weeks, we will be doing Ballet."

Nesta had Cassian had split apart and he just said to her quietly, "Yeah- I don't think ballet is my cup of tea." He finished with sly laugh,

"Well you never know until you try." Nesta said with a smirk, and walking ahead of Cassian out of the hall and into the street.

*** 

Nesta was happier, she even swung around a lamppost that was now illuminated with faelight. Cassian just watched, lovingly. He'd wanted to kiss her. Maybe they still had the chance to, but. He didn't want to pressure Nesta into anything, he'd just have to wait.

"The stars are-"

"Amazing, enthralling, stunning," Cassian said in attempts to help her finish her sentence, "I have lived under these stars for more than 500 years and I can't quite seem to find a word for them."

Nesta was still looking up when she said, "I think I'd call them captivating." 

Cassian couldn't stop looking at her, she was indeed captivated with the stars, and her awe-ridden face was something to be marvelled at. 

Nesta stopped looking at the stars and looked to Cassian, she held out her hand for him to take. He took it and followed her to the bridge.

*** 

Nesta was once again sat on the railing and Cassian was leaning on it.

"Those few times that you guys came to our house when we were humans," Nesta started, and Cassian really hoped she wouldn't bring up when she had kneed him in the balls, "when you said you were of the night court, I remember thinking, what are dark place, why would anyone want to live somewhere, where the darkness is their friend," she swallowed, "but now I see, something much bigger than that. The amount of darkness is just there so the stars can shine a little brighter. And that, the world is never truly in darkness. There are always lights, sometimes they are stars, and sometimes they're people. The world gives us light in our darkness, not so we can escape it, but so we can appreciate it."

Nesta swung her hips round and jumped onto the bridge before Cassian. She took both of his hands in her, looked up at him and said, "Thank you for being the light in my darkness."

Cassian couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. She was- thanking- him. When really he should be-

He leaned down so his mouth was close to her ear, and whispered, "Thank you for being mine, too."

***

Cassian kindly walked Nesta home, they were arm in arm,

"I don't think I have a favourite food, I didn't eat much as a human."

"Oh come on, you have to have a favourite food." Cassian said nudging her.

"Fine-" she breathed a smile on her lips, "there's a little bakery by the river that sell these cinnamon rolls, I don't want to admit just how much of my money I have spent on those."

"Fair play," Cassian said nodding his approval, " my guilty bpleasure are those cupcakes with the icing that looks like flowers, they're just so clever."

"I can make those!" She stared proudly, "I'll have to make them for you sometime."

But accepting that would mean, Nesta had accepted the bond. Even though it was an old tradition Cassian didn't want to go against it, because if Nesta found out, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself for using her like that.

All he said was "we'll see."

They arrived at Nesta and Elain's house. And the plant pot was knocked over.

"That sneaky shadow child."

"What?"

"Azriel and I have always had this system, if we were hooking up with someone we'd kick the plant pot over outside the house we once shared, so the other didn't just walk in on something neither of us wanted to see."

"Wait! Are you telling me that my baby sister is-" her loud voice was quieting to a whisper," my baby sister is having sex in there."

"It would appear so."

Nesta wasn't disappointed, she was just upset. She didn't know how serious Elain and Azriel were. She didn't think that this would be happening. 

Cassian could see the frustration on her face, he offered her, "come and stay at my place tonight."

"Thank you so much, Cass."

***

"So I haven't changed the sheets, my room is a mess, I have barely any food in the fridge, I don't have any kind of bath salts that a woman would like-"

"Oh I still can't get in a bath." She said nervously.

"What do you mean 'still', why could you never get in a bath."

Nesta froze, she hadn't told him about this, the cauldron. The plummeting. The submerging into water. Screaming. Elain. Blood. Tears. Light. Darkness. Cassian. Wings. Destroyed.

Cassian read this on her face, he let out a breath no more than a whisper and said, "the cauldron."

Nesta nodded,

"My god Nesta I hadn't even realised."

"Don't worry, only my sisters know." At the mention of sisters. Nesta's face became plain again, she didn't want to think what a certain sister was doing, "anyway, we should probably get some sleep." Cassian knew better than to pry into her cleaning habits.

"Right." They walked up to his room, he gave her a Tshirt that was like a nightdress on her, "I'll see you tomorrow-"

"Wait-" Nesta was calculating her next words, "will you stay in here with me?"

"Yeah, I can take the floor-"

"No, I meant in the bed," shock was was written on his face, "not to do anything," she raised her eyebrows, "but just so- so you can be near me-- I guess."

"Nes, are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

***

Nesta was already lying down and Cassian awkwardly approached the bed and lifted the duvet. Nesta's eyes watching him the whole time, he slid into the bed. An appropriate space left between them.

They laid there in silence for a bit, and then Nesta said, "Did you know about Elain and Azriel?"

"Honestly," he breathed, "I knew parts, Azriel told me he loved her but he felt bad because she was another person's mate."

"He loves her?" Nesta was confused, they hadn't know each other that long, could you really love someone in that amount of time, but Nesta looked over to Cassian and knew that you could.

"Azriel is a funny character, he was in love with mor for 500 years and your sister shows up and-" Cassian smiled at the thought of his friend, and how the Archeon sisters really had them by the balls, "and I've never seen him happier. Except from the time we went fishing and he caught a bigger fish than me, but even still, I'd say he's happier now."

"I'm glad she has him, it's just.." she was trying to keep her breathing steady, "it's just, Elain and I have always told each other everything. Everything. Even when we were human we'd gossip about things and not tell Feyre. We were always a team, and she's been rather distant lately, and I can't help but feel it's my fault because, I closed myself off. I've always closed myself off, because I'm selfish, and I make my problems seem like they're so much bigger than everyone else's." 

Nesta was starting to cry, she didn't want to be, but she was just feeling a little emotional about everything.

Cassian looked at her with a smile and said, "come here," and opened up just arms. Nesta shuffled into his embrace. Her head was rested on his chest and her arm draped around his waist, while Cassian pulled her into a tight hug, holding onto her and rested his chin ontop of her head. Their legs slowly tangling together.

"You are not selfish Nesta, you are so strong, and giving and loving," she was drawing shapeless patterns on his chest with her fingers, "when I told you what I'd done, I didn't deserve your care and comfort. You gave me so much hope, Nes."

Nesta didn't know what to say so she just nodded.

"You should get some sleep." He said.

So Nesta moved herself impossibly closer to him, and Gods-damn him but he felt Nesta breathe in his scent. Maybe she wanted this just as much as he did. But they would take their time. And he held her all through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or comment. I don't even know, bookmark if you want. Support a fellow Nessian trash in need X BUT I Don't really care, just the fact you bothered to read this much means the world.


	6. Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cute stuff happens with Nesta and Cassian. And we get some sister bonding time too Xx

They had moved in the night but they still hadn't let go of each other. In the morning they woke with Cassian spooning Nesta, and her arms were wrapped around the ones around her waist. When she began to stir, she felt safe, She didn't want to wake the massive brute behind her, so she just laid still savouring the moment. It had changed so much between them in the past few days, but it just felt. Right. Like they had wasted time not being with each other.

Nesta guessed that this was that promised time. The time he had promised her, when they both nearly died on that battle field.

She suddenly felt a warm hot breath on her ear, "Good morning Nesta," his deep voice said, "what are you doing in my bed?" He joked.

"Oh- I umm- fell." She smiled.

"You fell?" A soft giggle left her lips and her laugh only grew as Cassian began to tickle her. She was shaking with happiness and laughter, telling him to stop in between breaths, but they were both secretly enjoying it too much.

It calmed down after a while and Nesta had offered to make a hot drink they could have in bed, but Cassian objected. Stating that it was his house and he would give her any food or drink. 

One minute they'd be crying on each other's shoulders and then next they'd be giggling about the silliest thing. It was the dynamic that Nesta needed. She needed someone who would hold her when she cried but laugh with her when she needed a boost and she would be forever grateful that Cassian was- perfect. She wanted more though. She hadn't admitted it to herself yet. But- she wanted more with Cassian. She didn't just want friends. She didn't just want his company a few days a week. And the idea of him with another female, well- the thought made her heart tighten, as if it was drawing the last breaths out of her. No. No. She was feeling too much-. They just needed their time.

He emerged from the hallway with two mugs of tea. They lent their pillows against the head board and sat together in bed making small conversation, like an old married couple that had been doing this for years. They fell into great patters, whether it was walking, dancing, talking, Nesta would probably bet that Cassian, could belt out a few tunes as well.

"So, Commander, do you have any hidden talents?" She asked with a smile on her cheeks, Nesta may have gone as far as to call it flirting.

"No, I do not," he said, an obvious frown appearing on Nesta's face, "well not any talents as amazing as yours anyway."

"Oh please tell me." Sighing through her words, poking at his ribs,

"Alright, alright I'll tell you," he seized her wrists and gently placed them back in her lap, "I make miniatures, well carve them actually."

"You- what?" She was confused, what was a hulking brute like him doing, carving miniatures.

"Yeah I carve miniatures, when you've spent a lot of your life in a tent not knowing when the next battle is going to arise, it's hard to pick up any real hobbies. But I had a knife and a pile of wood." He shrugged his shoulders.

"What do you even carve?" She said trying to drain more answers out of him, trying to know him,

"Ummm- well I-I- I take people- that I umm know, and well- I imagine them as- animals, and I carve that." It was weird and he knew it was but Nesta didn't look at him as if he was weird, she was looking at him like she wanted more, "would you like to see some?" He dared to ask,

"Why wouldn't I?" Smiles glowing through her words.

Cassian moved slightly to look in the draw next to his bed and Nesta was sad for the loss of heat, but he quickly was back,

He handed her a small piece of wood that fit neatly in her palm, "this is one I did of-"

"Azriel." It was breathtakingly detailed,

"I made him an owl because, he's so wise, he knows far too much for his age, has seen too much. And I used the darkest wood I could find because of his shadows."

"It's beautiful," she smiled up at him, "show me more." 

He placed another one in her hand it was slick black cat, with piercing eyes, 

"It's Rhys!" She laughed, he had somehow managed to capture parts of people, like the twinkle in Rhys's eyes, it was beautiful.

"Now this last one-" he stammered, "if you don't like it, just tell me, okay, because I may have-" he passed her the last one and she stopped breathing, "made one of you."

"Oh my goodness." She said covering her mouth. Her eyes were soft, appreciating how much time this would have taken, the amount of detail.

"For you, I chose the dragon, because- you are far more powerful than what meets the eye." He was watching her inspect the carving, utterly thrilled that she liked it.

She finally looked up to him and met his eyes, "it's absolutely beautiful."

He brushed back a stray hair behind her ear so he could get a full view of her face, "not as beautiful as it's inspiration." 

She definetley wasn't breathing. They had been in this position a few times now, and there no distractions around to stop them. So, Nesta leaned her head forward and brushed her nose with his. "Someone needs to get their eyes checked." She laughed but she couldn't think straight, being this close to him was intoxicating, so she pulled his face closer to hers and their lips finally met. 

It was slow, Nesta had one of her hands on the side of his face ,guiding him gently. Cassian had one hand on her face and the other, holding her waist. They moved in perfect time together, holding off, knowing that if they went faster, they wouldn't be able to stop. But when Cassian pushed his tongue to her lips, begging for entrance, her body allowed it, it was becoming more wild, the brush of his tongue was beautiful, it was still slow but the connection was deeper.

The feeling was indescribable. Kissing had opened a bridge between their minds, she could feel his thoughts and he could feel hers. They tangled their legs together, and Cassian angled her head, he kissed her deeply and more lovingly. She let out small moans in between breaths, the sounds of her, setting Cassian's heart on fire.

Neither of them wanted to stop. They knew that stopping meant facing reality, they knew that it meant they wouldn't be close anymore, but Nesta knew- Nesta knew that they had to stop, so she pulled away, hesitantly, they were still close enough to share the same breath, their hands in the same position, not wanting the moment to be over.

"That was-" she started,

"Nesta." He breathed in a low, quiet whisper.

They were still so close, so close and so far, "I- I shouldn't have done that." Nesta confessed. She was feeling too much. Feeling too much in her heart, she couldn't deal with it.

It took everything in Cassian's bones not to confess his love, then and there. This beautiful, stunning female was too much for him, he knew that Nesta was scared of this, this thing between them. He wanted to comfort her, "Nesta," he said, low and guttural, her eyes latched to his, "I see your heart," he whispered, "and I am not scared." 

Nesta pulled her head away from his entirely, her hand fell onto his chest. "It's just-" she started and failed to find her words, "I just- I don't- I can't, I'm sorry."

Cassian brushed her cheek, and cupped her face, guiding her face to meet his, "You don't have to explain. And you have nothing to apologise for."

"I don't want to mess this up, Cass." Tears pricking her eyes,

"Shh, you're not going to."

She quickly sucked in her breath. She shook her head, trying to clear the thoughts, 

"Can we do something today?" She asked, "I don't want to spend the whole day worrying about-"

"Nes, of course. What did you have in mind."

"I want to go swimming-"

***

Nesta found it hard to get into bathtubs imagine submerging into a giant lake. Cassian had obviously agreed. But they needed to go to Nesta's house to pick up some stuff. Nesta- and Cassian just hoped that they wouldn't have an awkward run in with Elain.

Nesta went in, and left Cassian outside. If she was going to talk to her sister, she wanted to do it in private. 

Elain was waiting by the door when Nesta walked in. "Well I'm glad you finally decided to come home." 

"Yeah, I went out." Biting out her words,

"I know you did. With . Cassian."

"What is your problem with him?"

"Oh nothing." Elain said appearing not to care.

Nesta couldn't control her frustration. Her emotions were all over the place and well- "Well I'm sorry that one of us was too busy with a certain shadowsinger last night, to worry about their big sister."

"Leave Azriel out of this."

"Why should I Elain! You obviously care about him! Why didn't you tell me."

"Because, Nesta- I find it hard to tell you things, you're so absorbed in yourself. I sometimes feel like you don't care!"

Nesta hadn't see this side of her sister before, this was anger and worry that had triggered it. "I am not absorbed with myself." She said, completley in shock that Elain had said that. 

"No, but you're awfully close to Cassian these days aren't you?"

"What is your problem with him, Elain. Don't you trust him?!"

"It's not him I have the issue with and you know it." Nesta had never heard her sisters voice so deep and in control. "I am mad because I don't see you anymore!"

Nesta froze. It was her fault, it was always her fault.

"I haven't had a real conversation with you, since we were humans. And yes I know I shut myself off, and there was a war to plan and fight, but- we're living in the future, Nesta. We can be a family again, but you shut me out, and all it took was for Cassian to show up, with his big grin and Man bun, and you're spending all your time with him!"

"And how do you think I feel, Elain." She said quietly. Her whisper having just as much impact as Elain's shout. "How do you think I feel having found out that you two, spent the night together." Her voice was beginning to rise " I was under the impression that you two were close friends, but obviously not. It's much more than that. Tell me, Elain. What did you do last night? Your big sister is here now, ready to talk, so talk!"

"We had Sex! Okay Nesta! Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"I don't have time for this! I'm going out and I don't know when I'm going to be back."

"Fine you go off and have your little adventures with Cassian, telling him everything. Don't worry about your sister. Your younger sister. Just-"

At that moment Elain cried out. She fell to her knees and clutched her head in her hands. 

Nesta was at her side in a moment. Elain. The Seer. She was seeing something.

She fell out of the trance soon enough,

"Elain?" It was concern in her voice, all trace of their previous argument faded, "are you-"

"Just go." She whispered,

The look in Elain's eyes were serious, not a hint of a joke in sight,

And with that Nesta backed out of the town house. Willing all her magic to change her clothes, which to her surprise changed instantly. She met Cassian outside, not saying a word, he held out his hand, picked her up and they flew far away.

***

It was beautiful, the place that Cassian had chosen. somewhere in the woods, there was little water fall, that fell into a medium sized pool. The grass surrounding them sprouted lots of little daisies and various other plants, and trees that sheltered them, that stood proud and tall.

Nesta was shaking when they landed. Still buzzing from the fight she had, had with Elain.

"Nes, if you don't want to do this today. Then tell me okay?"

"No. I want to do this. Elain just put a bit of a buffer in the way, but no, I really want to do this."

Cassian nodded, "okay, well, first things first. Can you swim?"

"I can, but it's been a long time."

"In that Case, I may need to touch you, to show you how to move your arms, to hold on to you, in between instructions, and I just want your permission to do that."

Nesta smiled at how polite he was. Thomas would have never have even asked, just assumed that she was his to touch as he pleased. So she smiled once again at Cassian, only for Cassian.

"You have my full consent." She said,

"Okay then."

Cassian had this superpower to instantly change the mood. It was like flicking a switch.

Cassian lifted his shirt over his head, and removed his trousers, throwing them into a neat pile. Nesta followed suit, removing the leggings and the jumper she had put on. She was less certain with her movements then Cassian. Taking a longer time to remove her jumper, but she did it. Placing her clothes in a little pile next to his. 

Cassian glanced at her, trying not to gawk at her beautiful body, Nesta now had curves. She wasn't stick thin, she had a round backside and her breasts curvered round nicely. Everything met at her waist which dipped inwards. It took everything in Cassian not to trace the contours of her body. They had been so close this morning.

"We're only going to go as far as you want, Nes." He finally spoke, "I'm not going to do anything you don't want to do."

She nodded, becoming slightly more nervous, that she was going to do this. Cassian offered her his hand and guided her towards the water.

"We're just going to sit on the edge." He said gently. Nesta nodded, Cassian's words soothing her.

They both sat and placed their legs in the water. It was cold but neither of them cared. Cassian began to slowly move his legs, gently back and forth. Nesta followed suit, their hands still clasped together.

She confessed, "the hardest part is going to be getting in, putting my head under," She swallowed. "Can we just get that bit over and done with?"

"Of course," he said, glad that they'd actually get into the water and not just spend the whole day with their feet in, "I'm going to get in first, okay? Now this pool, is quite deep, you won't be able to stand up in it but that's okay because I'm going to hold on to you." She nodded, there was going to be no going back.

Cassian slid himself into the water, still holding her hand, "okay, when you're ready, just do what I did and slide yourself in to the water." Nesta only nodded.

She looked down into the water, she knew that this was a fear that she needed to get over. She locked eyes with Cassian. Hybern. The cauldron. Attack. Elain. Screaming. Pain. Blood.

She shut out the voices, and slid herself into the water, Cassian hands moved to her waist and her arms circled round his shoulders.

Nesta began to panic, her legs moving really fast, she was falling, her mind was falling and she couldn't control it. Then Cassian was there. "Shh, Nes, shh." He said soothingly, "I'm here, I'm right here, and I will never. Ever. Let you go."

Something calmed in Nesta, Cassian was there, he was always there and she knew that. So her legs became less frantic and moved in time with his, he looked to her and said, "this is called treading water." She smiled, she was actually doing something. But what Cassian said next-

"I want you to put your head under." Panic started again, but this time she just froze. Cassian held her face in one of her hands, "I am not forcing you to do this," he said, "but I think we both know that this is important."

It took her longer to come to terms with but Nesta did eventually put her head under, she came out breathing heavily, but smiled in between her panting. She did it, she had done it.

***

The next half an hour was Cassian teaching Nesta how to swim, she soon remembered and it wasn't long before she had let go of him and had been able to swim without him there. Cassian dared to ask whether she wanted to jump in, but she quickly declined, saying that, that was for another day but- She was so happy. She had overcome one of her fears. Her and Cassian both swam for the waterfall, and they went into the little cave behind it. The water there was shallow enough that they could both stand. The water coming up to Nesta's waist and Cassian's hips.

She was smiling so much. All thoughts of Elain had gone. She didn't care about that right now, because she had submerged herself in water. Nesta knew that this wasn't the end of everything, your mind didn't work like that, she'd have episodes, but at least, at least it was a start.

Cassian watched her smiling. He was proud. So proud. He wanted to hug her, spin her around, tell her that he loved her. But- it would have to wait.

Nesta looked at Cassian. Looked at the male who was there all the time. He was there every time she fell. In Hybern she had felt him move towards her. It made her fight harder, that someone else was fighting for her too. During the war, all those quiet and forbidden midnight talks they wouldn't tell anyone about when, Cassian would find Nesta wandering in the middle of the night, and join her, they just talked but it calmed her. When they laid together at the end, ready to accept any fate as long as they were together. 

And now this third time. Even when she wanted to give up, he was there, making sure that she powered through it.

She owed her life to him. 

So she stood on her toes and rested a hand on his cheek. She pulled his head closer to hears and rested their foreheads together. Cassian took her waist in his arms.

She looked up to his eyes through her eye lashes and said, close enough to share a breath, "this time I'm sure."

With that Cassian, pressed his lips to hers. It wasn't slow like that morning, but more of a frenzy. They wanted every part of each other, as soon as possible. Their breaths coming out in short gasps in between their lips meeting. Cassian was obsessed he couldn't get enough of her. 

All of sudden they became mist and shadow and re appeared on the grass. Cassian pulled apart for a second, "Sweetheart, did you just winnow?" They continued kissing, their words coming out in between,

"Yeah." She said with awe.

"Have- you- ever - done that- before." She was driving him crazy, then she said onto his lips,

"You make my magic sing."

He walked her backwards into a tree, placing his hand on it to stabilise himself so that he didn't fall over. The sun was shining over their heads. 

This is what he had wanted, he wanted time with her, to know what she liked, and what she didn't. Certain things he did elicited certain noises from her. He remembered them all. 

They could have been there for hours, but Nesta didn't care. She knew what she wanted. She wanted him. She wanted him and everything that came with it, she wanted his scars and his tears and his happiness and his dreams and his nightmares. But- Elain slipped into her head. She needed to see her sister. She had felt so bad, so-

"I need to go home." She said quietly cutting it off. Nesta moved towards her clothes, but Cassian caught her wrists, 

"Nes, talk to me." He had sad eyes, he looked hurt, like he thought that Nesta didn't care about him. 

Nesta saw this and was instantly in his arms again. Knowing that she'd gone about this the wrong way. She placed her hands on his chest, and lifted his sad face to hers. "Cass, I- I'm not leaving you. Just- I need to see Elain, we had an argument before and I just feel bad that I haven't been there for her." She looked him in the eyes, "but don't worry," she said with a smirk, "I'll be with you again soon enough."

She kissed him very lightly and walked away to put her clothes on.

***

Cassian flew her back to her house, they landed a few houses away, so that they could walk together. They walked arm in arm to her door.

"You know, now that you can winnow, you won't need me to fly you places."

"That's never going to happen," he looked at her puzzled, "I like flying too much- well flying with you."

They arrived at the door, Cassian placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. It felt like they had been doing this forever. It felt- right.

"You always have a place in my bed, if your sister throws you out." He said with a smirk, letting go of her hand as she went inside, glancing back at him one last time as she smiled.

***

Nesta walked into the kitchen to find her sister cooking, making some kind of soup.

"I hoped you'd be back soon, otherwise the dinner would have been cold." She said without turning around. 

Nesta silently took up her seat at the table and Elain poured her some soup and some bread. She brought it over and handed it to Nesta silently.

When Elain took her seat on the other side of the table, Nesta started, "are you okay, Elain?"

"Honestly, no." She said back, "I feel absolutely awful about today-"

"Elain. I was the bitch. You were right I've shut myself off. For so long. And when I decided to open up, it wasn't to the person who has been there all my life, it was to a male that- gods- it was to a male that I can't describe what he means to me," Nesta felt awkward sharing her most thoughts, but- "I'm not saying I regret it, because telling Cassian," her mind was wandering, Cassian meant so much to her, she couldn't put it in to words,

"Nesta, you don't have to explain. I understand. I should just be happy that you're opening up to somebody."

Nesta and Elain finished their dinner. Nesta cleared up then found a bottle of wine and two glasses. They went and sat in the living room, and sat next to each other and draped a wooden blanket over their legs. It was getting dark outside and the faelight warmed the room.

Both of them clutched their glasses. Perhaps now they'd talk. They'd open up to each other.

Elain spoke first, "So what is it with you and Cassian?"

Nesta didn't know how to answer, "Well, um," she stuttered trying to think of the words to say, "I'm not really sure. I care about him a lot. And he cares about me. We have this weird dynamic, where we support each other and we laugh together. Sometimes he's just what I need." Nesta couldn't believe she was voicing this. She hadn't admitted it to herself let alone other people, but she was fairly certain she was falling for him, and it didn't scare her.

"So have you guys, done anything." Elain winked then lifted her eyebrows suggestively.

"Elain! No!" She giggled, which made Elain scowl at her sister again, "fine- fine- we've kissed. More than once. And I stayed the night at his last night-" Elain whistled, "No! Not like that." Nesta said pushing her sister, "but he held me, all through the night, and it was the first time when I didn't feel scared to fall asleep. I felt completley safe with him."

"... and you've been on a million dates with him." 

"First of all it hasn't been a million and second of all they haven't been dates."

"Nesta," her sister said, as if she was about to tell her something important, "going to the theatre and dance classes are dates."

"Well you're one to talk." Nesta huffed, "You and Azriel," Elain sighed, "and your dinners, ad your long mysterious nights helping orphans, and him kicking the plant pot over."

"Yes, Nes. We did all those things, your point being?"

"When did it all happen?"

"Well," Elain said sipping from her glass, "I was in the garden one day, and I felt a faint vision of something passing me, something dark. Like a shadow. Moments later when I saw that shadow, I grabbed it. That made Azriel rush to me at once, he was impressed at how quick I had been. He said that no one had ever caught one of his shadows before. We spent the rest of the day in the garden together. He was asking me about all the different kinds of flowers and I was asking him about magic and we just got on. Really well. It became a thing that I would try and catch his shadows. One day I was in the kitchen and I saw one of his shadows. I tried to grab it, but before I could he grabbed me. I couldn't stop laughing, neither of us could. And I kissed him. He always feels bad whenever I make it known that we like each other. He feels disloyal to Lucien. But Lucien hasn't made any effort, so why should I pine over him?"

Nesta has nearly finished her wine, "I guess it would be nice though, to find your mate."

Elain looked at her, and said, "No, what the real joy in life is finding someone you love. If that person happens to be your mate as well then, that's great. But if not, I think that's okay too."

"I guess." Nesta nodded. She thought about Cassian, could she call it love? She didn't know yet.

"Hey," Elain said chipperly, "I was going to have Azriel round for dinner tomorrow, why don't you invite Cassian?"

"Okay, sounds like fun. I'll help you cook."

"No don't worry about it, I got it covered."

Because Elain knew that Nesta couldn't make food with Cassian coming. She wouldn't her sister accidentally do something like that. She wouldn't let her sister accept the mating bond without knowing.

The mating bond that Elain had seen in her vision, this afternoon, after their argument.


	7. Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of Nessian, lots of Elriel. People show up at the end. Kind of angsty. I'm really bad at writing summaries.

"Elain!" Nesta yelled from her room, "When you said you were making dinner, is it like casual thing or a dressing up kind of thing?"

"Why do you want to- oh" Elain said when she turned the corner and saw the state of Nesta's bedroom, "so did a bomb go off or something?"

"Don't joke, I have no idea what to wear."

"Nesta," Elain turned her sister towards herself, looking into her eyes, she spoke slowly so Nesta would pick up every word, "it is not a fancy dinner, wear your pyjamas for all I care."

"Well what are you going to wear?" She pushed herself out of Elain's grip,

"I don't know yet, Nesta. Probably a dress or something. But. Nesta! It's not even lunchtime."

"I know, I just want to look nice I guess."

"Do you want to go shopping?"

"Yes please." Nesta said admitting defeat.

"Okay, let me just get some shoes on." She sounded like a mother talking to her child who was about to cry or throw a tantrum.

Nesta didn't know why she was fussing. She wanted to look good. She wanted to make Cassian gawk at the sight of her.

***

They had been to three shops. Nesta had finally found a casual- formal dress to wear tonight. Now Elain was just gathering up some last minute supplies for dinner. Both of their arms filled with bags.

They only needed a few more ingredients, Nesta turned the corner and-

"Nes!"

"Cass! What are you doing here?" She said with a broad smile on her face. 

Elain cleared her throat, making her presence known.

"Elain." He said bowing mockingly,

"Cassian." She smiled back at him, giving him a smirk as well.

"You girls got a party or something?" He said scanning the bags.

Nesta moved closer to him, "I was going to send you a note, to invite you, but it looks like I don't have to anymore."

Why was she smiling? Nesta and Cassian were on a new level. It was just past the friendship line but not quite at the relationship line. They stood smiling at each other for a bit, then Elain feeling incredibly awkward said, "Well I'm going to gather the last few bits and head home, I'll see you there?" She asked Nesta.

"Yeah of course." 

And with that Elain was gone. Cassian reached out his hand, "can I help you with those bags?"

"Yes please," she handed him half of the bags she had, lightening the weight immensely, "so Commander, why are you in town?"

"That is a surprise Emissary," he smirked at their playful nicknames, "oh that reminds me, Emissary. How are you feeling about your sister coming home from her honeymoon and giving you a million different things to do."

"Oh yeah I forgot I had a job." Nesta laughed and elbowed him as they walked, "this week has been kind of-"

"Perfect." He smiled at her, "I've enjoyed every moment of this week Nes, and it's because of you."

"Me too. I wish it didn't have to end." She admitted, they were walking slowly side by side as if savouring this moment, "I think I- we needed time just the two of us, so I could figure out I how I feel."

Nesta could hardly believe her words. She had never been this open. She never would have spoken about her feelings.

"And what is it that you feel?" He asked wishfully,

"Can I tell you somewhere that isn't here?" She looked around, stood in the middle of a busy market square. The smell of sweet spices and perfumes flooding the town and the every single bright colour, 

"Where did you have in mind?"

***

They stood once again on the bridge. Their spot. They had placed their bags on the cobbled stone and were now resting their forearms on the iron railing, looking out to the water, to the row of shops that lined the river.

Nesta and Cassian were standing close to each other. Their hands weren't touching but it would've been easy enough for them to join hands.

They spent a long time like that, just staring, until- "so-" Nesta cleared her throat, catching Cassian's attention, their eyes locked onto each other's for a split second before Nesta's Gaze was fixed back on the water. "So i was going to- tell you how I- umm"

"Feel?" Cassian finished for her, chuckling as he did

"Yeah," she smiled. She couldn't put it in to words, but she would try, "I like you Cassian. A lot."

Nesta face was nervous. Nervous Cassian's affections wouldn't be reciprocated. Nervous that she had come on too strong. Cassian smiled, they were once again looking at each other. 

"I like you, too, Nes." He said

Relief struck through her. They smiled at each other, like two children. Cassian was thrilled that she had said those words and even though what he felt was stronger than what he'd admitted he knew that they were pacing themselves. 

"I'm guessing all went well with Elain."

"Yeah it went really well last night, we stayed up for hours, just talking."

"About what?"

"You know, life," he glared at her with amusement in his eyes, "the usual stuff, you know feelings, emotions, problems, relationships," Nesta stuttered on the last word: "family."

Cassian realised instantly, "Nes, is something wrong?"

Tears threatened to prick her eyes, but she held them off, for now, "No- Yes- Maybe," she couldn't decide, "I haven't told Elain."

"Told Elain what?" Cassian said, he didn't want to pry but he culd see the brokenness behind Nesta's eyes. Even though this past week that look of sadness had faded. It still loomed over her. He knew that the best thing to do would be to talk about it.

Nesta let a tear slip, "I miss him," she said. Cassian knew who she was talking about, he moved instantly, holding her from behind. But she turned around so that she could place her head on his chest, she circled both of her arms around his waist. "I know he wasn't a great father, but in the end-" she broke off, trying to compose herself, "he fought for us. While he was away, bargaining to try and save our lives, I was sat in my bitterness, cursing his name, for being such an appalling person."

He held her closer, as she had once done for him on this bridge. "Can I ask why you started thinking of this."

Nesta shook her head, not ready to share that she was thinking of what it would be like to marry someone- to marry Cassian. How they'd send each other little notes in the morning taunting the other about the prospect of having to share the rest of their lives with them. What her dress would look like. The song she walked down the aisle too. Nesta never divulged into this side of herself. Even as a child she hasn't imagined a wedding. She thought any union between her and another human would be a small quiet service, that just meant her husband could do with her what he would. And she would have to submit because they signed a contract. Nesta thought a wedding was signing yourself up for a lifetime of abuse. But- with Cassian. She knew if a day like that ever came, it would be massive, with lots of flowers. Lots of people. Lot of music and dancing. And at the end of the night they would submit to each other. They'd agree to be together forever. But what the real twist in her gut was. Was that, her father would never walk her down the aisle. Her father wouldn't give a speech and her father wouldn't dance with her.

And that's what broke her. Thats why she'd fallen asleep crying. Because in the end he died in place of her, and he wouldn't even see her get married. 

***

Nesta made her way back to their house with the bags. She said bye to Cassian, so that he could go about his day and she could go about hers.

Cassian found himself back at his own apartment. Looking through his bags. He had bought two things. As he held them he thought back to last night.

***

Elain had knocked on his door close to midnight, "I had a vision." She said with calmness. Cassian opened the door to let his Mate's sister in.

"What was your vision of?" He said gesturing to the sofas in his living room, offering her to sit down. She sat on the two seater and Cassian sat across from her in his arm chair.

"It was of you," she sighed, "and my sister. Nesta for clarification." Cassian was puzzled, he prayed to every god then and there that nothing bad happened to her in the future.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, his voice breaking slightly. Already terrified of what he could be told.

"Yeah everything is fine, I just thought you should know. Nesta is your mate."

He knew it, of course he did, but hearing the words out of someone else's mouth, was like double confirmation. It was certainty. 

"Wait-" his happy thoughts cutting off, "does Nesta know?"

"Wait, you already know?" Elain sounded.. surprised.

"Of course I know," he said with equal surprise, "but does Nesta know?"

"You don't want her to know?" Elain looked, in a way, disappointed. Like she thought Cassian wouldn't play her sister like that.

"No that's not it-" he said in protest, "Gods- I love your sister more than anything in the damn world, bond or no bond. And I want her to feel the same way about me. I don't want her to feel pressured or anything."

"Oh, I see. It's just-" she paused, wondering if she should, "my sister is crazy about you."

His heart stopped beating. He stopped the tears from slipping down his face. He just wanted to see her. The idea of spending a lifetime with her, didn't scare him. He wanted that. But-

"Don't you want to know what the vision was of?"

"I don't, As long as we were happy, and I still love her with all my heart."

"Well technically a little of your love was for another," Elain said a mischievous smile haunting her lips.

Cassian froze, utterly confused. Then it dawned on him, "a child?" He whispered, tears filling eyes.

Elain only nodded before she stood up and made her way towards the door. 

Elain stood on the threshold, Cassian holding the door, "Take Care of her." She said, and then she was off. Leaving Cassian in shock. 

***

He had barely slept. The idea that somewhere in the future, it could've been months or thousands of years, he didn't care. But him and Nesta would be blessed with that gift. That was so rare. So precious.

He stood from his chair. Leaving the gifts he had bought and went to change into some clothes for tonight.

***

Cassian was the last one there. He walked into the kitchen to find Azriel helping Elain cook, and Nesta lent on the counter, a glass of wine in her hand. When Cassian walked into the kitchen, Nesta was at his side almost at once, "thank god you're here," she stood on her tip toes, and whispered into his ear, "if I had to be alone with them for another second I may have burst."

He turned his head slightly so he could whisper, "I would never leave you to deal with such a thing." He joked, then stole a quick kiss from her cheek, before going to greet Azriel.

They grabbed each other's wrists and pulled each other into a hug. Nesta smiled. She loved how Cassian seemed to brighten up the room. She laughed when he pulled a bottle of champagne out the bag he was carrying and him and Azriel started arguing who would get to open in it.

Nesta felt Elain come up to her side, "Don't stare, sister," she said only loud enough they could hear it, "it isn't polite." Elain smirked.

Nesta playfully jabbed her sister in the ribs. Warning her to stop teasing. 

Elain loved seeing Nesta so happy. It felt like it had taken forever yet no time at all. Elain had seen Cassian kiss her cheek and had seen the blush that stained it, after he had walked away. 

"Are you sure you don't need any help with dinner?" Nesta asked, wanting to help.

But Elain caught a glimpse of Cassian, who had, had an ear on their conversation, shake his head.

"No, I'm fine. It's nearly done anyway. Just sit down and wait for it to be served."

Nesta followed suit and sat at the table. Cassian then joined, sitting across from her, and Azriel went up behind Elain and hugged her, no doubt, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. 

Nesta looked around a little family they had. It wasn't complete but it was beautiful. Azriel joined Cassian and Nesta at the table, "How's your training going, Nesta?" He asked,

"It's going well, I suppose. although this week has been kind of a nice break from it all." She said, "Amren can be quite full on."

Azriel huffed a laugh, "Well let's hope a week with Varian may ease her."

"I doubt it," Cassian said, "she was so nervous, she was asking me what clothes to wear."

They all laughed, "I am surprised, Nesta," Azriel continued, "that old Cassian Addison hasn't been hassling you to train."

"Addison?" She looked at Cassian smiling, testing the name on her tongue.

"Yes, Addison," he said, trying to stop her teasing, "it's not a family name, because I never knew my family, but it was just given to me at the war camps, so they could categorise me. It means 'man' so I always thought it was a bit of a slap in the face."

"Addison. I like it. It's like we both have a connection to humans now." She said with a smile. Elain and Azriel gave each other knowing glances and continued eating.

They ate the rest of their dinner making polite conversation talking about how they were not excited about going back to work when Feyre and Rhys got back. Nesta had mentioned that Rhys asked her to go to for a trip to the rest of the courts, so she could get a feel for being Emissary, on the basis of asking the high lords on their opinions of a new treaty. 

Cassian hadn't thought about how Nesta being an Emissary would require her to travel a lot. And him being Commander, having to be at the camps a lot. They may not see each other a lot. But that was in the future. He should just enjoy now.

After dinner was eaten, Cassian followed Nesta into the living room, whilst Azriel and Elain cleared up. Her dress was beautiful. It was black and strapless, that flowed out at her waist, and cut off at her knees. The back was corset style with red ribbon that matched Cassian's Siphons. It sounds fancy but Nesta made it look Casual, like she was always meant to be dressed so stunningly. She had no makeup to accent her beautiful face and her hair was unbound, loose, natural. And Cassian was stunned, as always.

"I got you a gift." He said shyly as they stood in the living room.

"You idiot," Nesta said mockingly with a smile on her face, "you don't have to buy me things."

"I know but, I saw this and I couldn't not buy it."

He pulled a small box out of his pocket. A split thought entered her head, Nesta found herself wondering if it was an engagement ring, and it didn't scare her. But when he opened it, she saw the most beautiful necklace. It had a pendant about the size of a finger print. A little black dragon breathing red fire. It perfectly matched Nesta's dress.

"The Fire matches my Siphons, look," he said comparing the two, "just this is little smaller." He said with a smile, "It will help wield a little part of your magic, but nothing could ever hold the amount of power you own. May I?" He held it up offering to put it on her. 

She turned around, and lifted her hair so it was easier for him. He undid the clasp and as he put it on her, "it's to remind you that you're strong enough to fight your battles alone but the red is to remind you of me," she heard the click of clasp, "I will always be there for you, no matter how far away you are."

She turned around, her hair falling down her back, and her hands went into his, pulling him closer until their lips met. She poured every bit of gratitude and secret love she had for him into that kiss. His hands went to her waist a gripped tightly. It wasn't soft, it was wanting. They were so invested. So consumed with each other they hadn't realised someone winnowed into the room,

"I'm back-" 

Morrigan stopped in her tracks. She had seen a lot of things in her time but seeing Cassian, kissing, no. Not just kissing. This was something Mor had only seen between Rhys and Feyre. It was more than a kiss. But seeing Cassian share that with Nesta had surprised her to her very core. 

Nesta and Cassian pulled apart when they realised she was there, they kept a hold of each other, Cassian still holding her waist and Nesta with her hand around his neck, her finger playing with the hair at the nape of it. They were looking each other in the eyes, their eyes showing signs of sadness that they had been interrupted.

"Well- this is a surprise." Mor said,

Cassian gripped Nesta's waist, protecting her. Nesta was looking in his eyes trying to figure out what he was feeling. It was disappointment.

"It's good to see you too, Mor." Nesta said sharply, turning her head slightly.

"I wish I could say the same." Mor said bitterly. Nesta pulled away from Cassian to face Mor properly, but Cassian, didn't want Nesta to leave his side, so he kept a hold of her hand, "when did this happen?" She asked, gesturing to them with disgust in her voice,

"Watch it!" Cassian warned, his voice alerted Azriel and Elain into the living room. Great. This just kept getting better.

Azriel walked over to Mor, "Hey what's up?" He said, his eyes checking her face, trying to read it. 

"Nothing, I just walked in and these two were-"

"We were just kissing." Nesta clarified, "what's your problem?"

"Nothing, Nesta." She snapped back, making Cassian nervous, "nothing you would understand anyway. I should go, I've obviously interrupted something." Her last glance was between Azriel and Elain. With that she winnowed away. 

The four of them just stood in the living room, gazing at each other. 

"Someone should go and see her." Elain spoke, ever the caring one.

"Don't worry." Cassian said, "she does this, when she feels threatened."

"Why would she feel threatened?" Nesta asked, but when Cassian looked back at her Nesta realised, "Me? You think Mor is threatened of me?"

"Look, Nes, can we go for a walk?"

She nodded, looking to her sister who gave her a smile before Nesta took Cassian's arm and they walked out the door.

***

"I know you know about mine and Mor's history," Nesta nodded, "and while that comes into it, Mor is very self- conscious. She holds very dark secrets, ones she's held for years."

They were stood in their spot, on the bridge, looking at the stars shine on the water.

"I've known Mor since she was a child and I promised to protect her, and I think when she thinks the possibility that I won't be there for her is near. She freaks out."

"But, I'm not a horrible person. Anymore. I'm not going to say that you can't see her. That's not my place."

"Mor doesn't see it like that." 

Cassian put his arms around her, she leaned into his embrace. They stood like that for a while before Cassian walked her home. They stayed mostly quiet, just absorbing each other's company, they didn't know how much of it they could steal when this week was over. So they savoured the little time they had left.


	8. Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of fluff. Mating stuff. Cute Nesta and Mor friendship starting.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Nesta begrudgingly dragged her body from her bed. She was not happy about being woken from such a peaceful sleep. She stumbled down the stairs. Hair messy, glazed eyes. She wore looses trousers a tshirt and the cardigan- jumper she had stolen from Cassian. She was also wearing the necklace he had bought her. She had told herself, last night, that she would never take it off.

She opened the door with a- "do you have any idea wha-!!!" And stopped in her tracks when she saw him.

"My Gods how can you still mange to look good in the morning?" He said by way of greeting. 

Nesta just rolled her eyes and left the door open for him to follow her. She moved into the living room, gathered up some blankets and fell onto the sofa, with a dramatic touch, as if to emphasise how tired she was.

She was now half laying on the sofa. Her head rested on the arm rest. Cassian walked over to her and brushed the hair out of her face, and continued to stroke her behind her ear.

"Someone's very sleepy today." He cooed.

"That's because someone woke me up." She said through her sleep, "not that I don't love you being here, but why?"

"I wanted to ask you out to dinner."

"Cassian Addison, are you asking me on an official date?" She said equal parts sarcasm, surprise and happiness.

"I thought it was about time, Sweetheart, also-" he paused, "I'm going to see Mor today."

"Oh," she sighed,

"Is that a problem?" He asked, genuinely,

"No, it's just um-" she stuttered before clearing hear throat, "I was thinking of going and seeing her."

"You?" Cassian was surprised, he hadn't imagined Nesta would have wanted to go any where close to Mor,

"Well, I don't think Mor has ever liked me and I want to show her I'm strong," she said sitting up, Cassian was still on his knees before her, she lent forward to that her and Cassian were sharing the same breath, "and if this- keeps going on," she gestured between them, "then I want her to be my friend for your sake and for mine."

"You still never hesitate to surprise me, Nesta Archeon." 

"Anything for you, Sir Addison." She smirked into his face

"Please stop calling me that." He sighed, 

"Make me," she said confidently, "Cassian Addi-"

He cut her off with a claiming kiss. He pushed up on his knees so he could have a better angle and kissed her deep and harder. Her hands were in his hair, gripping him, urging him closer. His hand were on her face and neck, then they were around her torso and moved to her waist, touching as much of her as he could.

***

They stayed like that for ages, just completley them, until Elain had discovered them and let out an over exaggerated gagging sound.

Nesta now stood on an unfamiliar street in front of a house that had a bright yellow door. She was hesitant to knock, knowing that what waited on the other side would perhaps be not as lovely as the house as she was staring at. Nonetheless she raised her hand to the knocker and knocked three times. Mor was at the door within a few seconds,

"Oh." She said rather blandly, "I was expecting your lover," She said bitterly, "has he really sent you instead?"

"One, Cassian and I are not lovers, what you saw was a kiss, don't start making assumptions," she could do this! She could be brave, "secondly Cass, does not own me. And thirdly it was my decision to come here. I came of my own accord because I wanted to talk to you."

Mor stood in silence, somewhat in shock over what Nesta had said, "come in then."

Mor moved out of the way so that Nesta could walk in. 

Mor moved towards her kitchen, her decanter was larger than the one Rhys, "Would you like a drink?" She asked, "water? Tea? Something... stronger?"

"I'd love a glass of wine if you have any."

Mor pulled out two glasses and the bottle of red wine, as she walked over she said, "why did you come?"

"Well," Nesta started, "I'm under the impression that you do not particularly like me."

Mor sat down handing Nesta her wine, Nesta Continued,

"And I want to know. Why?"

"What are you talking about?!" She was surprised, "I like you well enough."

"Mor.." Nesta said inviting her to talk.

Mor sat back in her chair and let out a huff of breath, "Well- um," she couldn't find the words, "I'm assuming you know of mine and Cassian's.... um.. history," Nesta nodded, "that was a big deal for me at the time and whilst it does play into my feelings a bit it is not the soul reason for me 'disliking' you. Don't worry I'm not going to steal Cassian from you." At that Nesta laughed. Relief. Part of Nesta was very worried that Mor still had feelings for Cassian. Her Cassian. And Nesta did not think she would win him.

Mor opened her mouth to continue, "I have a lot of my own problems and yesterday I was tired and shocked. I over-reacted. But- I don't like the fact Cassian didn't tell me. I could see it in his eyes, how he feels about you, but I was upset he never told me, he and I told each other everything and- well let's just say that I realised that I have secrets from him, so being mad at him for having his, is completely unjustified."

Nesta nodded, she wished she had known this before. "But there's one last thing," Mor continued, "Cassian has been hurt. A lot." 

Nesta understood at that, "Mor do you think that-"

"I know you care about him Nesta but sometimes that isn't enough, he is completley in love with you and would take what he thought he deserved instead of what he actually deserves, and what he deserves is someone who will care for him, and love him as fiercely as he loves them."

Nesta didn't want to admit it, but she had thought a lot about Love and what it meant, 

Mor continued, "and before you do anything, can I ask you just to think about-"

"I love him." 

She said it. She said the words out loud. She couldn't believe it.

"I love him." Nesta repeated, "I love him so much."

She wanted to cry, she had never been so vulnerable with her emotions but- 

"If anything I don't deserve him! He's so kind and Caring and loving and gentle and lost. So lost. But so am I. And I think that maybe, over this week we have begun to find each other."

Mor just grinned, "that's all I wanted to hear." Mor stood up and walked to Nesta hand in her a tissue. Mor sat next to Nesta, "I'm looking forward to being your friend, Nesta."

The two girls smiled at each other. Nesta was looking forward to it too.

***

After spending some time together at Mor's home just talking about everything and nothing at all, Mor asked Nesta if she wanted to go into town with her. Nesta hesitantly agreed after Mor had told her she was only joking about dragging Nesta into the store of little lacy unmentionables.

They were walking down the street together and Mor quickly turned to Nesta, "When did you fall in love with him?"

"Why do you ask?" She responded curiously, 

"Well, now we're best friends," Mor said laughing to hide her secret, but- "to be honest," she hesitated, "I convinced myself that I was in love with him once." She took a steady breath, "Yes. I did what I did with him to prove a point but I also wanted it to be more. I wanted him to be in love with me. Even now I look back on it and I realise I just wanted a relationship. Any kind of family. And he was the first person who cared who didn't have to." Nesta didn't know how to respond. She knew of Cassian's past. She knew that Mor was feeling confused. "Just, over 500 years of emotions crashed into me last night when I saw you two together. I over reacted and I'm sorry."

"Mor," she started, "I'm going to be completely honest," she carried on waking, trying to ease her beating heart, "it's not easy for me to hear how much you care and love, for each other. It's just- it's just. One day," she breathed, "I want to be able to give myself to him completely, and I selfishly want him to do that for me."

"Nesta you are not being selfish. To be honest, it's mostly my problem. Just seeing you with Cass and then Elain with Azriel. I was just reminded how lonely I am. I have a lot of dark secrets, Nesta. And if you knew then you would not be worried about me and Cassian and you wouldn't have to worry about Elain either."

They walked a little more. The two fae spoke of their lives keeping it fairly low key, nothing too deep. They had done that already. Their conversation was very over the place, and Nesta didn't want to pry further. 

"You never answered my question." Mor said

"Oh...." Nesta slurred, "I think I was falling for a while. When I was a human I didn't want to admit that he was one of the beautiful things I have ever seen. And my father was a merchant." She laughed quietly, "I always loved parts of him, but I knew I was in love with him during the war." She let out a breath, "Let's just say that you know you're in love with someone when you think they're about to die and you risk everything, just so they don't have to die alone." Her mind raced back to all those months ago, fighting in the scorching sun. Now it was nearing winter 

Nesta bid Mor goodbye but Mor grabbed her arm before she had walked away. "I know today has been kind of weird and you don't need my blessing, but I am so happy you two are- well you know- whatever it is."

"Thank you." Nesta replied before pulling Mor into a hug. Mor was surprised but embraced the hug. She realised that she had a new family member. One day she would tell Mor her secrets. But not today. Damn these Archeon sisters, she'd never realised who she was until this Cauldron-blessed family came along.

***

Elain walked into the kitchen to find Nesta baking. Again. 

"What are you doing?" Elain sang, elongating her words,

Nesta looked back at Elain over her shoulder, "I'm making cupcakes for Cass. He told me his favourite food, were the cupcakes that look like flowers." Nesta was just about to start putting the icing on the cake when Elain was instantly at her side, knocking the cake out of her older sisters hand. And hitting Nesta's hand in the process. Elain was still not used to her strength.

"Elain! What are you doing?"

"Nothing." The middle sister said placing her hands behind her back and rocking her heels back and forth.

"Elain." Nesta stared at her sister.

All of a sudden Azriel walked through the door, 

"Hey sunshine, you owe me one of your delicious apple tarts, since Nesta hasn't realised her and Cassian are-"

He walked into the kitchen, and looked up to find Nesta staring at him. 

"Nesta hasn't realised what?" She demanded, speaking in third person, mimicking her words.

Elain and Azriel shared a glance, not wanting to tell her, 

"Elain, tell me what's going on!" She demanded.

But Elain didn't want to. She didn't know how Nesta would feel. She might curse the cauldron for forcing her to love someone. She may have thought that this week was just the attraction of two animalistic fae. Elain didn't want her sister to be without Cassian. Because Cassian made her happy. And maybe that was all there needed to be.

Elain stuttered, "Do you love him?"

Nesta's eyes were pricked with tears. She was so frustrated, she hated secrets and just wished that she knew what was going on. She whispered, "Of course I do."

Elain took her sister's hand and led her into the garden so the two may have some privacy. They sat on a small bench, Elain's skirt pooling around her. Nesta sat nervously,

"Nesta, I know that I shouldn't be the one telling you this but-" she didn't want to say it, "Cassian is your mate,"

Silence.

"... and I know because I saw it in a vision,"

Nesta's head was spinning. Mate!

"...Azriel knows because he guessed and..."

Nesta was lost so deep in thought, 

"the only other person who knows is Cassian."

A tear fell from Nesta's face, Elain was instantly there, wiping her tears away.

"He's my mate." Nesta breathed.

Elain couldn't quite tell if Nesta was happy or sad or angry or frustrated, but she sat with her older sister as she cried, and held her in her arms.

She repeated the words, "He's my mate." Over and over until some sense came of it. To Elain it felt like forever but to Nesta, time had stood still.

"How are you feeling about it?" Elain dared to ask, just to ease herself.

Nesta smiled through her tears, 

"Are you happy?" Elain was surprised, she thought her fire blooded sister would've been more dramatic.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Nesta smiled.

***

Cassian felt every tear through the bond, but knew that Elain was there. And knew that he couldn't overstep every time. But it killed him. Every second he felt her emotion. He didn't know what had happened. But he felt a flicker of happiness after a while. And Cassian smiled. He started to get ready for his date. His first one, hopefully of many that he would share with his Mate. The love of his life.

***

"So are you going to tell him? Are you gonna confess your love? Are you going to give him one of your special cupcakes?"

"Elain, when you say special cupcakes it sounds like I'm going to drug him." Elain was helping Nesta get ready, so completley happy. Nesta was happy they were mates, had told Elain that she would accept the bond in a heartbeat. She was threading a few flowers through her old sisters her. She used dark flowers as if not to change her.

"You can't blame me for being excited, I missed Feyre's mating... and my own." 

"Elain..."

"Nesta, I'm not upset. Gods. I love Azriel so much."

"Just checking, you can't stop me from being protective." Nesta said jabbing her sisters ribs.

"So..... are you nervous about tonight?" Elain said, giving her sister suspicious and suggestive glances.

"Elain. I love you to pieces but discussing this is making me very nervous and uncomfortable."

"Okay I'll stop." Elain said fiddling with her sister's hair, when it suddenly burst out of her, "have you ever had Sex before?"

"Elain!!"

"I'm only asking. You're my sister."

Nesta turned to her sister, "If you must know. No. I have not." Elain was shocked, which was apparent from her dropped jaw, "why so surprised?"

"You practically convinced father and I that you were in love Thomas Mandray."

Nesta sighed, "Yes, but I was a young stupid human who wasn't aware that the reason Feyre wanted me to cut wood was so we could keep warm, not just a punishment." 

Elain scoffed,

And the Nesta told her sister something, she had never told anyone, "Thomas and I didn't do nothing. He kissed me and touched me... in places I didn't want him to."

"Nesta!"

"That's when I realised I couldn't marry him. It was after Feyre had left, I was in the market and he pulled me to one side and started undoing my dress in an Alley way. I hadn't believed what Feyre had told me about Thomas' family and their abusive ways. But as soon as he started to feel up my legs, I started to object. But- but he didn't stop." Elain was shocked, "luckily I screamed before he could get anymore than his fingers inside me."

Elain was gobsmacked. She didn't know. Couldn't have known. "Nesta. I had no idea! Why did you tell me?"

"You wouldn't have understood," she muttered, "you thought Feyre was living somewhere in luxury, I couldn't have explained it, so I just told you that I decided against marrying him."

"I'm so sorry you went through that on your own."

"It's okay-"

"No it's not! And I swear if anyone ever tries to pull something like that. I'll rip his head off."

"You don't have to worry," Nesta smiled, "because I'll have Cassian from now on."

***

Nesta thought that she'd be nervous when she saw Cassian, but her nerves turned to Calm when she saw him. She saw him in a dashing black suit and tie, a bouquet of flowers in his hand that miraculously matched the ones that were in her hair.

She smiled at him. Everything made sense now, she remembered when he showed up at her house and she couldn't describe why he was so breath taking. "Cassian Addison." She smirked

"Nesta Archeon, you are as ever, the most beautiful person I've seen."

"You flatter me too much." She said while toying with her necklace, the one he had gifted her.

"Shall we?" He said as he held his hand out for Nesta, 

"One second," she rushed back inside a grabbed a small gift bag, "I have something for you, but you're only allowed to have it after dinner."

"Fine." He said with a smile on his face. Nesta took his arm and they walked out her door.

They had been for walking for a few minutes when Nesta said, "I've never been on a date before."

"I find that very hard to believe." Cassian muttered, still trying to catch his breath from looking at her.

"It's true, no one wanted to take spoilt Nesta on a date."

"But Feyre told me you were once engaged."

Oh. Oh. "He- was. He was, barely a gentleman. He was- he did some very- he wasn't good for me." Nesta settled on, she knew she'd Cassian one day but tonight was not a night where they would talk of such things.

"Nesta," she looked up at him, into his eyes, he searched her, he knew what the man had done had scarred her, but he wouldn't pry, "you ask me to, and he's dead. I'll arrange it. Hell, I'll even watch as you rip him to shreds."

Nesta laughed. A real cackling laugh as she realised that Cassian wasn't talking about him beating up Thomas but telling her that Nesta was strong enough to do it herself and he'd always be there to support her. 

She played with her necklace again. That's what the necklace symbolised, that's what they were. Two forces as strong as each other, always supporting. Always loving the other.

They stopped and Cassian bent down and said in her ear, "I love it when you smile like that." Nesta giggled to herself before. Moving her head to say to him,

"Do you wanna know a secret?" He nodded, then she said, "I only smile like that for you."

He snatched a quick kiss from her, before Nesta pulled him back down for another kiss. She knew why his kisses made her want to melt. Knew why her heart danced faster and why she always wanted a little more.

*** 

They arrived at the restaurant, it was one that lined the Sidra and the two had got a table outside, so they could watch the water flow past. From this seat they could see their bridge and their spot. 

Dinner was lovely. Feyre and Rhys were coming home tomorrow. They spoke about their jobs and how busy the two expected to be over the next few months. Nesta was already promising to visit him in the camps as much as she could. Claiming that she would need to know how to train.

They were eating dessert when a familiar, blonde walked past.

"Hi you two!" She said,

"Morrigan." Cassian said. He did not know how today had gone between the two fae he was looking at, he assumed it had gone well- extremely well since Nesta got up to hug Mor, but sat down rather quickly.

"I'm guessing you two had a good afternoon." Cassian said,

"Yeah it was great," Nesta said, "she showed me some of her favourite parts of the town, including Rita's which apparently is much more alive at night." Nesta said quoting the 500 year old female.

"It most definetley is." Cassian butter in.

"I'm actually headed there now." Mor said, "would you two like to join me?"

Cassian looked at Nesta who was smiling, "I don't mind." He said blandly.

Nesta didn't know what to say. She wanted to walk to their spot after dinner and give him her gift, and she wanted to kiss him, and she wanted to be alone with him. But- she didn't want to seem stingy. And she genuinely wanted to see Rita's, so Nesta simply nodded and after paying the cheque, (which Cassian had pain for, Nesta promised him another meal in which she would pay) Cassian held out his arm and Nesta held on, Mor walked beside the pair, smiling, because her best friend had found the female he loved, and Nesta had realised that she was in love with the male with her, and they deserved each other. And Cassian hoped she didn't, but Mor saw the small kiss Cassian placed on Nesta's cheek before they walked to Rita's.

***

It was. Loud. That was Nesta's first thought, her and Cassian were sat in a booth, the music pounding, which had mesmerised Nesta for a long time but now all she wanted to do was be with Cassian. Alone with him. 

They looked into the crowd of people dancing and saw Mor, bobbing up and down, she seemed happy. 

"Nesta," she looked up at him, "will you dance with me?"

"I don't know how to dance to this." She said, trying to avoid getting caught up in dancing, she knew once she started she wouldn't be able to stop.

"Please." He said with puppy eyes.

She laughed and admitted defeat, he led her onto the floor and they began, they were holding hands moving their feet in time with the music, simple dancing, standing on the spot. Cassian had to spur Nesta on, he teasingly spun her around, so her back was to his chest and they danced together. Swaying their hips in time with music. 

Nesta started to enjoy it. She moved more freely and she just became the music. She turned around to face him. She rested her forearm on his shoulder, the other brushed her hair back as they moved so perfectly together. 

He caught her mouth in a kiss. "You look stunning like this."

She caught his mouth again, they were straight up snogging in the middle of a bar. Something Nesta despised, she hated public displays of affection. But she was with her mate, and he was claiming her in public and everyone knew who she belonged to. It made her blood thrum. She pulled back just enough for him to turn them around and backed Nesta into a wall. So. He wanted this too. He kissed her with so much love and want, he couldn't hold it in. He wanted to leave. He wanted her and only her, not the clumsy fae bumping into him. 

Nesta caught a glimpse of the small gift bag she had brought with her. She pulled away from Cassian and asked, "to our spot?" 

He said nothing as he held her hand and walked with her out of Rita's. Nesta grabbing her gift bag as she left. They winnowed to their spot.

***

The night began to dawn on them, the faint stars that were starting to appear reflecting on the water. 

Nesta held the small bag up for Cassian to take. He opened it and the breath was knocked out of his lungs. 

"Nes-"

"Shh." She hushed,

"I can't accept this, it means more than-"

"Than I realise?" She finished for him, "Cass," she stopped, she brushed one of the loose strands of his hair out of his face, "I know."

His heart melted.

"You know?" He breathed,

"I know, and I know what you eating this cupcake means."

"Nes-"

"Shhh- please, just- just tell me you accept it to."

"Nesta-" he pulled her closer to him, his hands were on the sides of her face, "Of course I want you." He lent down to kiss her. This was happening. This was actually happening. They were actually doing this. The kiss was long and slow, teasing and loving, he wanted it to go on forever but he wanted it to end so he could see his Mate smile.

"Then eat the damned cupcake." She breathed onto his mouth.

He pulled away from her. It was agony, but he pulled the cupcake out of the bag and looked at it admiringly. 

"You told me your favourite food were the cupcakes that look like they had flowers on them."

"And you remembered." He said looking at it. The food that would change his future forever.

"Well it was only a few days ago." She jabbed at his ribs in a joking manner. 

 

He held the cupcake in his hand, he looked at her, she smiled and nodded in confirmation. He looked at the beautiful female in front of him and saw a life and a future. A family and he was not scared.

Nesta watched as Cassian ate the entire cupcake in a few bites. His last swallow, Nesta was on him. She kissed him, she looped her arms around his neck and she felt the bond click into place. She let out a gasp into his lips, her heart felt very tight, she felt it then, the love for him, the bond was now a real living thing between them. Cassian and her looked into each other's eyes, both hit with the realisation of what had just happened. She smiled and then kissed him again, before breathing "mine" onto his lips.

He let out a guttural groan at that, and winnowed them to his house immediately.

***

They were still kissing when they landed in his bedroom. They had not let go of each other. But then Nesta said-

"I've never done this before. I mean- I mean I've done- I've done stuff before- well I haven't, but people- have done stuff to me- and I don't know what I'm doing."

Cassian kissed her again then said- "Nesta, I love you so much, and yes you. You are my mate now-" he smiled at the declaration, "but we don't have to do anything. I love you. If you want to wait- I'll wait."

Nesta slid her hands into his hair, "I don't want to wait."

Cassian held her impossibly closer, "are you sure?" He breathed.

"Why wouldn't I be?" She smiled.

***

He made love to her that night. Over and over again. Worshipped her body. Over and over again. And every time she went over the edge Cassian joined her. They were a fusion of sweat and passion. They loved each other so fiercely. Cassian had whispered to her of his love all night, telling her how much she meant to him. Holding her. Devoting himself to her. 

The two now lay in bed. Naked. The floor was a trail of their discarded clothes and the flowers from Nesta's hair. They had been so bare before each other. The only thing Nesta was wearing was the necklace Cassian had given her. 

They were facing each other, looking at each other, propped up on their elbows, in so much awe and shock, that they had each other.

Cassian said, "I never thought I would ever get a chance at love. Not a love like this..."

Nesta smiled and began tracing the tattoos on Cassian's chest. 

"... and I want you to know that I love you so much. Bond or no bond. I want your heart. I want your soul. I want your nightmares and your scars. Absolutely everything."

Nesta only leaned up and kissed him, "I bet I love you more." She smiled.

"That's not possible, Sweetheart."

Cassian kissed her again. His instinct took over and Nesta straddled him, never moving her mouth from his. They moved so perfectly together it was unbelievable.

"I love you, Cass. More than you can imagine."

They fell and rose together throughout the night. Showing how much they loved each other. Never letting go. They finally fell asleep when the sun began to rise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took me so long. I started to read this fanfic called a court of hearts and darkness! It is absolutely amazing, I recommend it!! But here is the penaultament chapter. So sad this fic is going to be over in a chapter, but I am going to post follow up one shots. :)


	9. Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter!! The High lady and High lord are back from their honeymoon and discover their Emissary and their Commander in an interesting position.

It was nearly midday when they began to stir. Their bodies were flush against each other, so impossibly close, so perfectly fitting together. Nesta's head was against Cassian's chest, their legs tangled together and Cassian stroking his mate's hair behind her ear. He had been awake for some time just admiring her. So completley is awe that she was his. He couldn't believe it. His heart was beating so incredibly fast, he thought that was what woke her.

"Hello," she whispered, her voice still groggy, "you should've woken me up." Her grip tightened on his waist.

"I didn't want to wake you," he continued to stroke her hair, "plus, you're so beautiful and I was worried that when you woke up, this wouldn't be real."

Nesta pulled away enough so she could look into his eyes, "this is very real, Cass. I love you so much."

His kiss was answer enough. He felt like campfires and big knitted jumpers. He felt like safety and comfort and Nesta opened her heart in a way she had never done before, not even with Elain, or her mother.

Cassian pulled away and their noses grazed each other, he used his nose to play with hers, eliciting a small giggle from her.

"Feyre and Rhys are home to day." He sighed

"Oh joy." Nesta said, with a glaze of sarcasm,

"Believe me I don't want to leave this bed either." Cassian smirked, an air of confidence in him, Nesta moved her head into the crook of his neck.

"You don't want to leave this bed?" She questioned, a huff of a laugh,

"Nes, if I had it my way, we wouldn't leave this room for the next few weeks," he moved her head so he could see her eyes. He looked lovingly into them and saw more than the blue-grey that met his hazel, "of course that's not going to happen though, you have all the travelling.."

"And you have the camps." She finished.

The two looked at each other. There was something like sadness in their eyes, it was a whole host of emotions that were overtaking both of them. Nesta spoke first.

"Look, Cass, I am excited about being an Emissary. I'm excited to see as much of the world as I can, and to eat different foods and meet different people and wear fancy clothes and drink posh wine. And see fancy shows. Learn different languages. I can’t wait. But. " she lifted her hand and began to stoke his hair line, "the thing I'm most excited about is coming home to you. And I don't care if that's here or a cabin in the Illyrian steppes or if it's in the the damned spring court. Because my home is you and I can't wait to learn what it's like to be your mate and to learn about you, because I know it's going to be one great adventure."

He kissed her, gently and pulled back enough to say, "I don't like crust on my bread and I am an absolute sucker for a romance novel."

"What was that?" She asked. Smiling.

"It was the start of our adventure." He kissed the tip of her nose,

"I don't like aquariums, they freak me out. And... I secretly love art."

"I expect nothing less from an Archeon sister." He smirked,

"Please don't tell Feyre, she'll drag me to all these art museums and I- I'd love to go, just not with her." She looked at Cassian, as if inviting him instead,

"I would love to go to an art museum with you Nes, but it'll be hard," he said leaning down and whispering in her ear, his warm breath caressing her, "because it says not to touch the masterpieces,"

Nearly every breath in her body fell out of her, she normally would've pushed him away for such a line but she could feel him so close, she wanted more, 

"But you know," he continued, "someone's got to pin them to the wall."

She writhed under his touch until his lips were on hers. She grabbed one side of his face. Passion. And love. She wanted him so badly. She couldn't explain it. She was thinking too much. She was thinking too little. In that moment it was only her and Cassian in this world. They were not a commander and an Emissary they were purely them. And Nesta couldn't get enough,

"This is normal," he confirmed, "it is said that after a couple mates, they become so guttural and so primal and that explains, the, umm, the- the frenzy." He said between kisses.

Cassian was now settled in their favourite position. Nesta was splayed out on the bed, Cassian's knees were between her legs which had just begun to encircle his waist. His hands were running smoothly up and down her slim waist and his nose grazing hers. He brushed his lips softly against hers.

Nesta couldn't describe it, him in the mornings, lazy and unhurried. His hair slightly messy and the weight of the day wasn't baring on him, he was so relaxed and so slow- so god damned slow, she grabbed his bottom lips between her lips. She wanted more. She had just discovered this wonderful new act and she didn't want to waste a moment with teasing and taunting. Little did she know that, that was what made it, the taunting, the teasing, the flirting. 

She thought of how a year ago she would've scorned and cursed at any couple she saw, public displays of affection were simply disgusting nothing more to it, but the thought of Cassian stopping her in the middle of the market just to kiss her, just to remind her that he was there and that she belonged to him and he belonged to her.

Maybe she could finally forgive Rhys and Feyre for their random acts of love. Feyre. Rhys. They were home today. Emissary. Reports. The reports.

"Shit!" She gasped in between the breathy kisses they were sharing. 

"What?" Cassian said his lips trailing over her jaw and started on her neck.

"Cass," she half said half moaned, "I completley forgot!"

He stopped and looked up at her, "what did you forget, sweetheart?"

"The reports. Rhys wanted me to fill in some paperwork before he got back." She sighed, sad at the idea that they would have to leave this bed.

"Maybe we should do that." Cassian said, she could see that he was just as upset as she was but the quicker they flew to the townhouse, the quicker it would be over.

So they wordlessly untangled themselves from each other and Nesta threw on some leggings and one of Cassian's shirts because she couldn't have worn the dress she'd worn yesterday. 

Before they began flying Cassian glanced at his mate and let out a near growl sound at the sight of his darling Nesta in his clothes.

He pulled her into his arms and lent down to whisper in her ear, "you look incredible in my clothes." his deep voice made her shudder.

And with that he launched into the sky, her arms encircling his Nesta and holding each other so closely. They were never going to let go.

***

Nesta had somehow managed to fill in the paperwork she had found in the study in the townhouse. Cassian had pressed small kisses to the back of her neck and had made taunting caresses up and down her body whilst she had desperately tried to concentrate on the files left for her.

She finished with a huff of a sigh, and turned round to find Cassian on his knees beside her chair. She lent forward and placed her hands on either side of his face and gave him a gentle kiss, “all finished?” He asked,

“All finished.” She confirmed.

He stood up and held out his hand for her and when she grabbed his he pulled her into a tight hug, his ear pressed to her lips, “Good,” he said, “because I’ve been wanting to throw you onto this desk for the past hour.”

“Cass,” she said poking him, “we can’t.” He looked at her sadly, “this is the high lord’s desk, we can’t do it here,” he made his frown even more apparent, “but-“ she said a smile gracing her lips, “the living room?” She asked.

He was pulling her out of the study. The two hadn’t made it to the living room. Cassian had started kissing her and backed her into a wall, knocking over a plant pot on the small table,

“Shit!” Nesta screamed as it fell to the floor, smashing before them,

“It’s okay,” he smiled, “they’re filthy rich, they can buy a new plant pot.”

***

They were walking through Velaris, the high lord and lady happy to be home in their city. They loved it on the continent but they missed their stars that whispered their dreams and the rainbow and the freedom to do everything they wanted.

They had turned into the street where their townhouse resided. “So, Feyre Darling,” Rhys said, nibbling her ear, “are you ready for being High Lady again.”

“No.” She said with a smile, “I don’t think I ever will be.”

“That’s okay,” he said leaning down to her ear, “I’m still learning to be a high lord.” He said sarcastically.

They opened the gate and walked up the small stone path that led to there town house, the crunch of the gravel beneath their feet and without a word, Rhys lifted Feyre into his arms, Cradling her like a baby. When she gave him a glare, he merely said, “it’s tradition.”

He was about to open the door when he heard:

“Shit!”

The high lord and lady looked at each other with confused glances, before Rhys put her down and they opened their door to their house.

Nesta and Cassian stopped dead. 

The two couples stared at each other.

Feyre and Rhys were gobsmacked, they didn’t know what to say.

Cassian had pressed Nesta up the wall and was quickly making work of removing her shirt. Feyre and Rhys walked in when he had started tugging on her leggings.

The four didn’t know what to do or what to say, but Cassian was in front of Nesta as soon as he had realised. 

Nesta looked at him and whispered into his ear, “He already has a mate, don’t worry.”

Cassian passed a glance over his shoulder looking at his high lord and lady who had now shut the door and were waiting for an explanation. Cassian let out a growl towards Rhys who was smirking at the newly mated pair.

It was Feyre who spoke first, “we’ll let you two clean up in the kitchen.” She said, polite tone, completely fair and lovely and understanding.

Nesta knew her sister was happy.

***

“I feel so embarrassed!” Nesta practically shouted, she trapped her face in her hands, near tears in her eyes

Cassian was in front of her pulling her hands away from her face, he held onto her wrists as he lowered them and bent down to kiss her.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Sweetheart.” He reassured.

“It’s just weird.” She said leaning into his chest still holding his hands.

He brought his arm up and gave her massive hug, “It’s okay love, I know you probably wanted to tell them in a different way, but this is how it is.”

“Ok.” She nodded into his chest.

“And we’re going to go out there and we’re going to be calm and collected and we’re just gonna be up front.”

“Ok.” She whispered, then lifted her to look into his eyes, “and you’re not going to be an over protective brute.” She said, now smiling.

“Deal, Emissary.”

“Deal, Commander.”

***

“So you two finally mated?” Feyre said.

“Yeah... Well... AZRIEL and ELAIN had SEX!”

“Nes! What did I just say.” Cassian said turning to her.

“I’m sorry, I just- I feel nervous.”

“You’re allowed to Sweetheart.” He said kissing her temple.

Then Rhys said, looking at Nesta, mimicking- “You’re allowed to Sweetheart.”

Nesta’s hand dropped to Cassian’s. She had heard about this. ‘The territorial fae bullshit’, Feyre liked to call it.

“I think we better go in the kitchen.” Feyre said butting in, “they’ll be having brooding contests for a while.”

Nesta wordlessly followed her Sister into the kitchen, holding onto Cassian’s hand for as long as possible before they had to let go.

***

“So tell me everything.” Feyre said, putting two mugs onto the table in the middle of the kitchen. 

“When you say everything do you mean, the flirty stuff or the frisky stuff?” Nesta snapped back sarcastically.

Feyre lifted her two hands in the air in surrender, “you know me.”

“I’m not telling you about that.” Nesta said, “but I will tell you all the stuff leading up to it.”

So she did. She told her sister of the dinner with Elain and Azriel. The theatre trips. The dance class. The swimming class. Their double date night. Their date night. The necklace. His jumper. Mor. She didn’t tell Feyre about their spot on the bridge or his spot on the cliff. She didn’t tell her about how deeply her heart yearned for Cassian, the only person she’d let see any kind of weakness was her mate.

She smiled all the while telling the story. She loved every part of it. Every broken tear. Every scar and every hug and kiss to comfort the other through. It was their story and they did it right. 

“Now tell me about Elain and Azriel.” Feyre said.

“Wow, now you know everything I’m old news, now?” Nesta said sarcastically.

“You know I don’t mean that,” Feyre said. “I just wanna make sure she’s safe.”

After a moment, Nesta shrugged her shoulders, “He loves her. I think he feels guilty because of Mor. To be honest I think Cassian does too. Even though I cleared things with her. Just it will take some time, but I want to wait because he’s so worth it.”

“I’m so happy for you, Nesta.”

“I’m happy for me too.”

***

After Feyre and Nesta had finished arguing about which of their mates had the biggest wingspan and Cassian and Rhys had finished their staring contest or whatever they were talking about, Nesta and Cassian flew back to Nesta’s home, so she could get dressed. The inner circle would meet at the house of wind and have a ‘welcome back’ dinner.

They emerged through the door to find Azriel with Elain’s legs draped over his on the sofa. The both of them giggling. Elain looked to her older sister and gave her smile then looked at Cassian and gave him a knowing look.

“We’re gonna go an get ready.” Nesta said dragging him upstairs.

Nesta let him walk into the room first, and lent against the shut door once she had closed it. He walked to her and held her head in his hands and her hands went in his hair. The kiss was slow but wanting. They loved each other so ferociously. The way they held each other and the way their hearts beat in time with each other. 

“You have to get ready, Nes.” He said between kisses.

“I had another idea.” She said, before lowering to her knees.

***

No more than an hour later Nesta and Cassian stood outside the door to the house of wind, the evening sky looming over them, the stars in the sky, beautiful as ever. They could see the Sidra from the small landing platform they were standing on. They could also see Azriel and Elain flying towards them.

Azriel landed and set Elain down with a heart breaking gentleness. 

“Are you ready?” It was Azriel who said that.

Both Archeon sisters nodded.

They walked in with their males trailing closely behind, Nesta’s hand latch onto Cassian. 

They walked into the dining room and Feyre, Rhys and Mor stood as one, it was Mor who said, “We will serve and protect.” The two sisters were lost for words, Nesta turned to Cassian who had grabbed a flute from somewhere and was raising it with the others. 

Elain said, “Thank you.” With an air of surprise. “We really weren’t expecting this.”

Nesta looked around the room and saw the one person missing and as if her thoughts summoned her, Amren appeared in the middle of the room. champagne flute in hand and announced, “you thought you could have a celebration with out me.”

Nesta went towards Amren the two had grown close. Both of them had reluctantly begun to show more emotions through spending time together and now they were hugging in front of all their family.

“Congratulations on your mating, young one.”

“Thank you Amren.” Nesta pulled away smiling. Amren’s eyes fell to the pendant on the chain around Nesta’s neck and admired the small dragon. 

“I’m just happy that he has someone to whip his arse into shape.”

The two females laughed and went to join the rest of the party.

Everyone was happy. Sharing gossip and stories. Mor even spoke to Elain, everyone found comfort that they could all be collectively in a room together. Feyre and Rhys were ever the adorable couple, but Nesta didn’t gag and she didn’t care because Cassian’s hand was on her knee the whole meal. And she would steal a kiss from him every so often. Elain and Azriel were less affectionate purely because they were still in the beginning of their relationship. Give it time. Mor sat making conversation with everyone, maybe one day she wouldn’t feel like keeping in all her secrets. But Nesta noticed the small blush that now graced Amren’s cheeks every once in a while, everyone was eager to hear of her and Varian’s... week.

When the evening was over, the three couples and Amren and Mor went their separate ways. 

Feyre and Rhys went back home, they claimed it was for sleep but everyone knew that they were just sparing everyone the graphic details. Elain and Azriel went flying, presumably to a meadow where they would lay down and watch the stars together.

And Nesta and Cassian. They walked arm in arm through Velaris. Everyone seemed to know Cassian and Cassian introduced a few Illyrians he recognised to his beautiful mate. Cassian was so proud to call Nesta, his. He loved her with all his heart and held her hand tightly, running his thumb over the back of hers. 

Nesta knew that she would always have Cassian to hold her hand. He would always support and he would always love her. 

She saw him glance up to the sky, “they’re so beautiful.” he said.

Nesta guided his eyes to hers, her hand placed gently on the side of his head. “I can think of something more beautiful.” She said looking into his eyes. But- instead of kissing her, Cassian simply looked her and said, “will you sing for me?” 

Without another word Nesta started quietly singing, a slow happy song. She couldn’t remember where she had heard it and she didn’t care either because as they walked down the street, her sweet voice accompanying them, Nesta knew that she had everything she would ever need. Right there. With her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CAN BELIEVE THIS IS THE END!!! I have loved every moment of writing this and yes there are numerical spelling mistakes and grammatical errors and what not but it’s our imperfections that make us perfect. Please leave comments and kudos. But I already love you for reading this. It means a lot. I may do a follow up series of one shots but we will see. God bless. Goodnight Xxx

**Author's Note:**

> I thrive on comments :p  
> Please leave comments, I'll be very happy. Happy reading, drink some tea, eat a biscuit and remember the calories don't count if the biscuit is broken :p Xxx


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